The Story of Us, Part III

February 2008

This story is a continuation from Part I and Part II …


Over the course of the next week and a half, Mark and I saw each other every other day. We didn’t tell people right away that we were dating because we had a hard time acknowledging that ourselves. There wasn't a long drawn out "does (s)he/doesn't (s)he".  No friends passing messages along.  No pomp and circumstance. 

One day we were just friends. 
The next day we could never be just friends again.

Big things happened over the course of our first several months together:
- Mark, who had shoulder length hair when I met him, cut his hair off to prove to my conservative parents that he was serious about me. (This was a big deal.  I was officially wowed and humbled.)
- I stopped trying to get Chris back (although getting over the "idea" of him took much longer).
- Mark demanded that before I officially became his girlfriend, I had to become a Christian.  Thus I promptly began faking it since I had no interest in any sort of God.
- I started attending Mark's church regularly and going to youth group and learning what being a Christian was about.
- I started to confront my baggage and sort out my issues.
- I learned what it felt like to want to put someone else's wants and needs before my own.
- Fast forward several months.  I realized I wasn’t really faking it any more.
- Fast forward a few more months.  I started my senior year of high school and Mark was working full-time.  Things had changed since the previous school year ... and for the better.

When school started again, we couldn't hang out every day like we had been over the summer.  We would stay up until all hours of the night chatting on AIM. We were trying to find our way and decide on our future.  I had a lot of issues and angst to work through (with God, with my parents, within myself).  Learning to grow up was hard and ridding myself of preconceived notions was even harder.  I expected/planned on my life and relationships to take a certain course.  Mark was too important to give up but I was still determined to mold him to that stupid checklist. I still smile at the thought of how hard I was resisting His plan and how determined I was by my own.  Ridiculous.

We learned early on to communicate and talk through everything.  We learned to listen.  We learned to compromise.  We learned to trust.  Those are very hard lessons to learn, especially at 17 and 18.  In the end, I guess you can say it worked.

Thinking back, I treasure those late nights talking.  I didn't know it at the time but Mark was printing our AIM conversations from those years and keeping them (along with the notes I wrote him in school, ticket stubs, etc.). <swoon>  We actually have them, to this day, in a big binder/scrapbook.

Everyone jokes now that Mark and I take forever to do things. I think it is because of our beginnings.  It took months to admit we were dating. It took a year to admit we were in love. It took two years and one 48-hour break-up* to admit we were in it for the long haul.  And it took five years to commit to marriage. That is too long for some people but it was the perfect pace for us.

When I say Mark is my rock, it is the understatement of the century. I truly believe I am undeserving of such a selfless, godly man. He is perfect in every way that matters. He stands beside me through the toughest battles (most of which I wage internally). He sees right through me and he doesn't let me get away with things.  Despite all of my flaws, he loves me unconditionally.  I am profoundly in love with this man.

Our journey has not been perfect but it is ours .. and that in itself is perfect enough for me.

* You know how when you break-up with someone, everyone comes out of the woodwork to tell you the other person's flaws and how you are better off with out them? Well I decided at the end of my senior year of high school that I wanted to be "free" and have the "college experience" and so I broke up with Mark.  I just wasn't sure if he was headed in the same direction as me.  Well, instead of everyone supporting me, I had everyone telling me what a mistake I had made.  My friends and family kept telling me Mark was the greatest thing to happen to me and that I was an idiot.  Needless to say, I begged forgiveness and we were back together the next day.  I gave up on that stupid checklist.  It was clearly wrong.