Dear Readers ... A Year and A Half Later

Dear Readers,

A very kind reader sent me an email this morning regarding my "Links I Love" Page.  I have fixed the broken link to "Six Sisters' Stuff" and I have added a link to "The Ultimate Frugal Resource Guide" per her suggestion. Thanks Kathleen for the great resource!  I hope others will find it as useful as I have.

Unbeknownst to Kathleen, her email did more than just inform me about necessary editing.  She also reminded me that my little corner of the internet is still out there and people still come across it now and again.  When I started HWE, I started it as a sort of journal to catalog my life.  Well, life got crazy at the end of 2012 and blogging became less of a priority for me.  I made the decision to stop adding to HWE for a while and I apologize for not letting you guys know about it.

I am not sure I am ready to blog full time again but I did want to catch you up on the craziness of the past year:

- As you know, we lost a baby due to miscarriage at the end of 2012.  His name was Andrew and I still miss him to this day.  I don't cry anymore, and the acute pain is gone, but I do sometimes think "How old would Andrew be today?" or "What would _____ have been like if Andrew had been here?"

- In November 2012, I applied for a Leadership/Management Program at work.  It was a four month application process and one I unfortunately didn't feel like was appropriate or professional to share in a public forum.

- In the beginning of February 2013, I unfortunately suffered a second miscarriage.  I was only 5 weeks pregnant and I was able to miscarry at home.  This experience has left a mark on me.  I did not forget all the hope and encouragement Andrew's short life and given me but it was a very dark time.  It took a long time to emotionally recover and, to be honest, I still have my moments.  My "moments" aren't in regards to mourning the loss of the second child necessarily but about the uncertainty of the future.  I will always struggle with things I can't control and this is a giant example of needing to "let go and let God."

- While still dealing with the second miscarriage, I found out I had been accepted into the management program at work.  All of a sudden my work-life radically shifted.  I became much busier and work became something I definitely shouldn't/couldn't discuss.

- Over the next 8 months, I trained my replacement in my old position, transitioned to my new position, completed the program, and was promoted.  At the same time, my husband's work became really intense and he started working crazy-long hours.  Needless to say, work-life was (and sort of still is) our primary focus in life.

- I have settled into my new position at work and I am loving it.  Mark's hours have actually intensified even further at work (12 hour days are standard and there have been a couple 14-15+ hour days).  So basically I have decided to be very choosy about how I get to spend the little moments we have together now.  I still read obsessively and I still cook every night.  These are the things that relax me.  I have also made a point to treat myself better and give myself little at-home "spa" days as frequently as I can.

- My birthday last week actually marked the one-year anniversary of my second miscarriage and the end of the "waiting and recovery" period.  Despite our history, I am excited to try again to expand our family.  I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE to let you all know if we are blessed in that area.

So that pretty much gives a broad overview of life for me recently.  It's been a roller coaster of shifting priorities but I can honestly say I have been happy.  2013 started as the lowest point in my life and ended as one of the highest thus far.  I can't wait to see where 2014 will lead us and I appreciate every single one of you for sticking around.

Love,
Jessie

67 days later...

It’s been 67 days since my last post.


On one hand, I can’t believe it’s been so long! On the other hand, so many things have happened in such a short amount of time that it seems like it should have been months and months longer…

I couldn’t possibly go back and cover all the things that happened but I will hit some highlights of each month:


APRIL
     I started my hiatus at the end of April. That month seemed to be dragging along and I was getting bored with my own posts. (How bad is that!?) I figured it was time to lay low and stop forcing posts for the sake of it. It wasn’t all humdrum though. Mark and I finally made a really big decision … we decided to start a family. We had been hovering on the outskirts of that decision for a while but it became “official”. This was the news I couldn’t discuss. The reason for this is because it affects Mark too.
     I knew going into it that it most likely wasn’t going to be a quick process and so to protect ourselves from a barrage of “are you pregnant yet!?” questions .. I chose to keep it mum. It’s been a couple months now and I think we’ve really come to terms with the fact that it will happen in God’s timing and that’s ok. You will hear more details about this in the future.

MAY
     May kicked off with a weekend trip to Georgia for Mark’s cousin’s wedding. It was a fun weekend for two reasons; one, it ended up being a giant family reunion and, secondly, I FINALLY got to meet my gorgeous and amazing niece.
     Unfortunately the good times came to an end for a while. A week later my mom was admitted to the hospital with some severe health issues. She stayed for about a week and was released. What made it so much worse though was that since she was given so much medicine so quickly, she actually went into acute kidney failure BEFORE she left the hospital and the doctors didn’t catch it and they released her anyways. Luckily her family physician happened to check her chart to follow up after she was home and caught it. She called my mom and told her to immediately go back. My mom was then sent back to the hospital for another week .. only to get bronchitis. Needless to say it was very stressful and terrifying.
     A few days before my mom was released (the second time) my dad experienced numbness and paralysis in one of his arms. It turned out to be due to upper spinal stenosis. Basically the openings in a couple vertebrae were narrowing and pinching the nerves. He went in for spinal surgery a week later. He is now doing better but it will be a long recovery.

JUNE
     I was so exhausted by the time June came around. Mentally and physically I was drained. Luckily, halfway through the month, Mark and I took a week off work and went to the beach on vacation. We went with Mark’s brother, his wife, her family, and our adorable niece. We had a blast and it was MUCH needed.
     June also brought a lot of changes. I started taking small day trips with work to some of our different branches so that was fun. Babies are a hot topic amongst my friends because there were births, pregnancy announcements and a couple showers during the month. Finally, because of course there could be no stone left unturned … even my church underwent some changes.

JULY
     Even though it is only the 2nd, this month may prove itself to be hectic as well. Mark is traveling to Japan for a couple weeks for work so that is new ground for us. Some of our close friends are moving back to the area (yay!) and I will be taking more day trips both for work and for pleasure.


Needless to say, I will never call my life boring or mundane again because look what happened the last time I did……

Happy St. Pat's Weekend!

This weekend should be fun :)  In celebration of Mark's birthday and St. Patrick's Day, we are having a small get together at our house.  I love having friends over and I love relaxing.  It's the best of both worlds! 

What are you up to this weekend?  Any big, festive plans?

So from this redhead to you, have a SAFE and HAPPY St. Patrick's Weekend!!

HeyTell

 If you are facebook friends with me then you might have seen where I posted about HeyTell over the weekend.  I had several ask me what it was so I thought I would provide further clarification.  I was just introduced to this last week so I am definitely no expert but so far it has been really handy.

HeyTell is a free app available for Droids and iPhones.  It's basically an auditory text service.  You just speak into your phone like normal and it sends the audio file to your contact.  They can listen to the message and then record their own and send it back to you.  It's a delayed walkie talkie and it's awesome.

Some benefits I forsee:

1.)  It's a lot faster than texting .. unless you have some insane ability to text faster than you speak ;)

2.)  It's great for those of us that refuse to use bluetooth headsets (no offense if you do).  It's not exactly handsfree but there is a huge orange button (practically a third of the phone's screen) and you just have to touch somewhere within that button and talk.  You certainly can do it without taking your eyes of the road.  (OK OK before you freak out on me .. I do not condone texting while driving because it's dangerous.  However, some people are just stubborn and continue to do it so this would be a compromise.  This would still constitute using your phone while driving so if that's banned where you are .. just take that into consideration.)

3.)  Have you ever typed something sarcastic and it was completely taken out of context because they couldn't hear your tone of voice? Well here you go.


You obviously can only send messages to those that have the program so here is my official shout out.  If you choose to get it, send me a message so I can add you to my list.  It's fun :)

BTW - when you receive a message, you get a notification in your message bar like any other text message.  Personally, my phone also flashes a little yellow light (vs a green one with text and a blue one with facebook) so that's cool too.

The barcode is below so you can just scan it and download.  Happy texting!

midweek confessions

~  So I am sure you've read this in my previous post but I figured I would mention it again:  I'm an aunt!!  My niece is perfect and gorgeous and I can't wait to meet her.  Just thought I would remind you ;)

~ A few months ago I felt that Mark and I should start our own small group at church.  I LOVED the group we were in but I felt that season was over.  I found a book fairly quick that I thought would work (based on the synopsis) but now that I have gotten it .. well .. it's terrible.  I kind of feel in limbo right now.  I don't feel like we made the wrong decision by leaving the group but I also don't feel led in the direction of starting something right now.  Also, quite frankly, I'm a little embarrassed too.  People expected us to start a group and now I am unsure.

~ I was so exhausted earlier this week that I let a load of laundry sit in the washer overnight.  I've never done that.  I rewashed them the next day and they were ok.  oops :x

~ I went to a cookie swap party last night and the hostess' house was decorated perfectly for Christmas.  She is an AMAZING hostess (and decorator, chef, etc etc etc).  Well her house reminded me that I haven't really decorated that much for the holiday, nor do I even OWN that much stuff.  Now I realize decorations are one of those things that you accumulate over time but it still kind of makes me pouty that I can't just afford to go out and buy all the little things that I want.  I love my tree though and I do have a wreath on my door and a few other things.  I just need to be patient. (ah, patience.  I ALWAYS have to be patient .. one of these days I'm going to have to get better with that...)



What are your confessions this week?

I'M AN AUNT!!!

May I present to you, Miss Josephine Marie:

She was born yesterday and she's perfect!!  I am COMPLETELY smitten with this little girl.  It's so weird because I did not birth her .. and I have not met her in person .. yet I am already totally attached and commited to her.  I'm sure those of you who have experienced this can relate but, for me, this is new territory.  There is just this sense of protectiveness that I feel for this little one that came out of nowhere.  I have been falling in love with the idea of her since the summer but now that she's here .. well .. I'm just blown away. 

I can't even imagine what this experience must feel like for her parents.  They must feel like this times a BILLION.  I think I would explode. :)

Well needless to say, Miss Josephine is the greatest Christmas present EVER.  I can't wait to give her a cousin.  Hopefully one day.


In the meantime, here are some more pictures of perfection:

An Open Letter to my Amazing Husband

swoon.

Dear Mark,

Ten years ago, today, I went on an impromptu trip to go get some coffee with you. Little did I know the impact that first date, and you, would have on my life.  I have never felt so blessed.

I recently reflected on our first years together and it really takes me back.  I often say that it doesn't feel like we've been together that long and it's true.  It's weird, though.  I simultaneously feel like we just met and married a couple years ago and yet I feel like you have been apart of my world my entire life.  It's a difficult feeling to reconcile.  It wasn't until I thought back to that first day that I really felt the gravity of a decade of memories.

I cherish the memories I have of our first date.  From the hazelnut breves to the plushy couch to the quiet conversation.  Hindsight is 20/20 and I see now why we quickly became close friends. I loved you from the beginning, even if it took me a long time to realize it myself. You were so charming, sweet and caring from the start. I knew you were special.  I knew you were The One.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
— 1 Peter 4:8

I still can’t believe it has been ten years already! We have been through so much during that time. In our wedding vows we talked about being there for each other no matter what; through thick and through thin. Good times and bad. I smile as I think about the fact that we read those vows on our wedding day. I know we had to repeat them then and that was fine but, truthfully, we had been obeying those rules for a lot longer than that.

You have always stuck by my side no matter what I dished out. It’s really true when, in 1 Peter, it says that love covers a multitude of sins. When you unconditionally love someone, as I do you, there is nothing you can do to make it stop. I know this because you love me back and that means that you would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. There is nothing that we can not resolve. When times get really hard, as I'm sure they one day will, there is no one else that I would want on my team. I am committed to you. Forever.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." — Lao Tzu

You have given me such strength. You are my rock and I would have crumbled a long, long time ago without you. You are my sounding board when I feel unsure.  I know that if I make a decision, and it is the wrong one, you will support me and help me fix my mistakes. You also look to me for advice and value my opinion. That gives me validation and courage. The courage to follow our dreams without hesitation because I know you will remain by my side the entire way. I have come to realize I can't plan everything and that frightens me.  You hold my hand as we tackle life together.  You are my perfect teammate.

I am constantly falling in love with you. Every day. Every moment. You are perfect in every way that matters to me. You are a godly man and I am proud that you are the head of our household. I am proud of you in so many ways and I am humbled by your selflessness. You are a true servant and I have so much to learn from you.

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."
— Robert A. Heinlein 

I have no idea what this next decade is going to entail. There were so many changes in the last ten years that I can’t even wrap my head around what our future may hold. I know though, that no matter what, it is going to be fun, exciting and full of laughter.

I know our journey will include many things and I pray that children will get to be one of them. You are the most natural father. You can certainly add that to the list of things that I am proud of you for. I see you with our friends’ babies and it makes me swoon. I already look up to you as a parent and try to follow your lead (even if the only thing you are parenting these days is our four-legged “first born”). I think we are going to be a great parenting duo one day and I can’t wait to begin that voyage together.

I love you, Mark Andrew. I love you so much that those words are completely inadequate. My heart swells at the thought of you. I honestly think my heart has grown entire sections for the sole purpose of loving you.  If I could be half as good a spouse as you have been to me then I would be very lucky. You have given me so much over the years and we have only just begun. Thank you. Thank you for picking me and thank you for giving me the privilege to be your wife.

With all of my love,
Jessie

midweek confessions

This is quite theraputic if I do say so myself ...

- Last Friday we simply stayed at home.  Mark watched a movie and I caught up on blogs, facebook (since my app refuses to show me messages and such), etc.  It may sound boring but it was the best Friday in a while!

- I hate grocery shopping alone.  Mark and I always go together.  I know we won't always be able to do this (with the addition of kids and such) but I really like that time together.  Mark was out of town on Saturday and I had to go alone. It wasn't much fun.  There was no one to joke with and make decisions with.

- I have been blessed with a spouse that I agree with 99.99% of the time.  We never argue.  We just simply get along.  If we ever do disagree then it's usually resolved really quickly because we would both rather just compromise then "be right".  With that being said .. it's not always perfect.  Example?  My husband is an overly-aggressive driver (my opinion) and it makes me C.R.A.Z.Y.  This is something recently (in the last year or so) that has really started to grate on my nerves.  I'm trying to keep things in perspective but I take it personally sometimes when I ask him to slow down and then he goes THE EXACT SPEEDLIMIT out of spite.  I'm confessing this now because we argued about it on Sunday.  He basically hurt my feelings and then we just didn't talk for the 5 minutes it took us to get to where we were going.  That doesn't sound bad but it certainly isn't constructive and we need to figure this out.  I NEVER want to be "that wife" that nags all the time and he just doesn't take me seriously which hurts my feelings a lot.  we'll figure it out...

- On a lighter note .. I am totally obsessed with grey nail polish right now.  I keep thinking I need to move on to a different color or something but I keep wanting to go back to it.  I think it's the perfect winter shade.  Not too harsh like black but more neutral and interesting than nude.  Love it!

- Finally .. my neice is due Friday and I may or may not be SO FREAKING EXCITED.  I am trying really hard to leave her parents alone and not smother.  I've really kept my distance because I know they have (obviously!) a lot on their plate right now with their first-born on the way but I can't help to want to quiz them about everything (since I can't be there).  also .. I might be a tad jealous. stupid baby fever...

SC Mac & the Vanilla Wafers

Man, I love my church family!

This video is specifically for all you CDF folks out there who, like myself, missed the epicness that happened during the Christmas Dinner.  For all you non-CDF folks .. this is an example of how awesome my church family is and how we can have fun together.  You should come visit us on Sundays (although I can't promise this kind of craziness :))

Special thanks to SC Mac and the Vanilla Wafers featuring SC Mac (Sheila), Mama Grace (Marie), G Money (Gabi) and P Sully (Priscilla) for rocking the house to J Train! Your talents are QUITE memorable!!!  Love you ladies!

How Could You Not Accept This Apology?

Work has been killer these past few days so I have not had the energy to post.  I will most likely write a few this weekend and have them scheduled to go out over the next week or so and that should help.

In the mean time .. I received this in an email and I thought it was awesome.  Check it out:

http://obtampons.ca/apology

Have a great weekend!!

midweek confessions

And we're back this week with more confessions..

~ I get really annoyed when I have to answer the phone at work sometimes.  Did I mention it's one of my main responsibilites?  I manage multiple products at work.  It's my job to help troubleshoot and problem-solve whenever I get a call about any of them. I mostly speak to other employees most of the time and the customer every now and again.  Right now I am in the middle of building a new product and I wish I could only focus on that.  When I get a call not related to the new product I get totally annoyed. I need to change my attitude.  I need to be joyful in helping everyone equally.. but right now I'm so not..

~ The waiting game isn't getting easier.  I'm still struggling with patience waiting for my review despite positive reinforcement.  It's 3 months late now.  Sigh.

~ There were dirty dishes that sat in my sink overnight on Monday. I like people to think that I have it all together and my house is always clean.  It's not.  If you had come over Tuesday you would have seen the evidence.
~ My dog is out of shape and it's my fault.  Since he is at his ideal weight I let myself pretend to not notice.  Unfortunately he gets winded way too quickly when running.  We both need to hit the pavement more.

~ Sometimes if I really need to work/reason something out I will talk it out .. out loud .. to myself.  If I am not at home alone then I will do it in my car because people watching me think I am just singing to the radio.  And no .. I don't answer myself ;)  I'm not crazy .. promise!


So what are your midweek confessions?

midweek confessions

A blogger I follow does midweek confessions.  I love the idea so I thought I might try it so here we go...

1.  I feel guilty that I haven't been blogging more.  I know I have posted stuff but it's kind of been a cop out.  Recipes and book reviews just don't count the same as a more "self-reflective" type post.

2.  I am supposed to have a review at work and I am not waiting patiently.  There have been a lot of work load changes lately and I really want to have my review so I know whether all my hard work as paid off.  I know I am being vague but I don't know who reads this so I need to stay quiet for now.

3.  I bought 'Jesus Calling' and I have not been reading it daily .. more like every 2 or 3 days.  And no, I don't have a valid excuse.  I simply haven't made the time.  I feel really bad about this.

4.  I had the energy to decorate my tree but it ran out before I snapped a picture.  I wanted to do a post to show you my tree (and it will happen .. eventually) but as I sit on my couch at night and look at it .. I just can't seem to muster the energy to take the pics and download them .. yet other chores get done.  What in the world!?

5.  Baby fever is back. I thought I had it under control.  I don't.  Enough said.


So hopefully I will start making this a weekly thing .. maybe.  I don't want to commit so we will just see how it goes :)  What are some of your midweek confessions?

I'm still here..

I feel like I have been completely MIA lately.  I promise I am still here.  Going out of town for the holiday plus a whole lotta craziness at work means that I have not had time to even think for myself.  I have officially caught up with the piles of paper on my desk, my Christmas shopping is done and my house is somewhat clean.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I can see it!  All this to say .. things might slow down here for a bit but I have not abandoned HWE.  I promise :)

Jingle Bells vs. Wedding Bells

Why, hello Christmas...I didn't see you come in. Give me a second, please, while I finish my turkey. Thanks.

Christmas always comes so quickly every year. After dinner on Thursday, my parents, Mark and I went over to my other aunt and uncle's house to see more family. We hadn't finished dinner an hour earlier and when we got in the car to ride over, Christmas music was on the radio the entire way. I mean, c'mon!  I love Christmas as much as the next guy but it just doesn't seem like Thanksgiving gets a fair shake!  Is it just me or is Thanksgiving the ugly stepsister to Christmas' Cinderella; the placeholder for the more favorable holiday.

As I sat around the kitchen table I watched my cousins look through the newspaper and analyze the coupons and Black Friday deals.  I wish I had been the marketing exec that came up with that one. I just don't get why so many people are enthralled with it. The idea of going out at the wee hours of the morning to get assaulted over sale items just doesn't sound appealing to me.  People claim it's fun but it just sounds like a bunch of drama.  Christmas cheer anyone?  To each his own, I suppose.

Today one of my cousins is getting married.  His wedding is outside at a local plantation.  The weather is gorgeous so I am looking forward to it.  It's going to be amazing.  I have heard a few details already and it's going to be one to remember.  The wedding is at 5:00pm so that should give us plenty of time to celebrate and visit before we have to rush home, put on our jerseys, and prepare for the Gamecocks to beat the Tigers.

GO COCKS!!!

We are heading back home tomorrow.  I love my family but I miss my home and my pup so it will be nice to get back.  I hope everyone else has enjoyed their vacation and takes full advantage of these last couple days.  December is always a crazy busy month so make sure you take time to rest.  Have a great Saturday!!

To Do List Totalitarianism

Confession:  My to do list has been running my life.

It's not that I am feeling overly stressed, per se.  It's just that I seem to be checking my to do list more often than my email and that is saying something.

I have a "sticky note" app on my phone.  It has a widget function that sits on the main profile and stares at me when I wake the screen.  Every time I think of something that needs to be done, or a reminder for myself, it is all too easy to quickly add it to the list.

I don't think I am coming up with more things lately, I just think I am remembering them.  Before now, the fleeting thought that came to mind while processing reports at work would have been gone by the end of the work day.  Now I simply just notate it on my phone the second it pops up and I will forever be reminded of it .. until I check it off.

I would be completely lying if I said I didn't like it just a little bit.  Afterall, if I truly hated it then I could just delete the app.  This is totally self-inflicted.   

It's kind of a joke in my house but I am terrible at memory recall with certain things.  I can remember numbers from things years ago but I can not remember names of people I met five minutes ago.  In mid-conversation I will blank on someone's name that I have known for YEARS and have a close relationship with.  People just laugh at me because they know it's not for a lack of familiarity .. just my brain doesn't work.  All this to say, if I don't write things down, like the grocery list, I will be in the middle of the store .. remember there was 4 things I had to get ... only have 3 in the basket .. and stand there looking baffled until I remember what the fourth thing is.  It's kind of frustrating.  So in all actuality .. I love the app.

This brings me to the holiday season.  Up until now I usually keep a running list of three or so items.  Right now I have nine and this morning it was 16 (!).  I have just felt so incredibly rushed for some reason to get things done .. NOW.  Mark and I have managed to already complete our Christmas shopping (minus 2 gifts we have to pick up in town).  We ordered most of it online because it seems everyone is running a 'free shipping' promo right now.  (If I don't have to pay for shipping then, by all means, I will avoid the store.)   

Now I tend to be organized but getting Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving is a little much .. even for me.  Like I just said .. I have felt under pressure.  There seems to be a million things to do and not enough time to do it.  Mark and I are leaving town for the holiday but not until tomorrow.  I took today off just to get some things done.  I was up at 7:00am this morning tackling "the list".

Hopefully my early start this year will mean that the to do list will dwindle early as well.  I am not thinking it will.  If I know me, things will come along to replace them.  I won't let it bog me down though.  If something doesn't get done, well, it doesn't get done.  My relationships and down time mean too much to me to completely lose my cool .... but if I could just get my carpets cleaned, call the insurance company about that one thing and get that craft project done .... that would be all the better. <sigh> Happy Holidays!

Do you keep a to do list?  Is yours taking over your life or are you stress-free?  Have you started Christmas shopping yet?

Anniversary Gift Giving

Mark and I have never been big on holiday gift giving when it comes to each other.  We love to buy things for family and friends, but when it comes to ourselves, we would rather just save the money or make a larger purchase together.  With that being said, we are adults now with real jobs and can afford to to do something special every now and then.



Mark and I started dating in 2001 and we married in 2008.  We still count our total years together and celebrate both anniversaries (we were not about to start at zero when we got married!)  In a little less than a month, we will hit our first big milestone .. 10 years together.  We thought, since it was a big one, we should exchange gifts.  Now the question is ... what do I get Mark?



We thought it would be fun to stick with the traditional anniversary gift criteria.  Don't know what that is?  See the chart below:

Traditional Wedding Anniversary Gifts by YearFirst: Paper

Second: Cotton

Third: Leather

Fourth: Fruit or Flowers

Fifth: Wood

Sixth: Candy or Iron

Seventh: Wool or Copper

Eight Bronze or Pottery

Ninth: Pottery

Tenth: Aluminum/Tin

Eleventh: Steel

Twelfth: Silk or Linen

Thirteenth: Lace

Fourteenth: Ivory

Fifteenth: Crystal

Twentieth: China

Twenty-Fifth: Silver

Thirtieth: Pearls

Thirty-Fifth: Coral

Fortieth: Ruby

Forty-Fifth: Sapphire

Fiftieth: Gold

Fifty-Fifth: Emerald

Sixtieth: Diamond

So I am looking for aluminum or tin?  Grrrreat.  Seeing as aluminum is Mark's favorite metal (yes, you read that right) it should be fairly easy to come up with something.  Combine that with the fact that there are a lot of engine parts, tools, etc made from aluminum and this should be a piece of cake.  So why am I completely stumped?!



I have googled ideas to no end.  Mark just does not fit with the "typical guy" criteria used to come up with the gift ideas out there (and yes I am totally ok with that). 



Golf clubs ... not a golfer.

Cuff links ... does not wear dress shirts often ... much less French-cuff ones.

Money clip ... um, no.  He doesn't carry cash and he much prefers alternative wallet materials (ie duct tape or tyvek .. hehe)

Engraved picture frame ... seriously!?  He's a g-u-y.  'nuff said.

A multitude of paper weights ... He may sit at a desk all most of the day but it isn't made of solid mahogany.



So basically all my googling as turned up nothing.  Through regular brainstorming, I have come up with a VERY short (aka: three) list of possibilities though.  I will, however, not be divulging those on this post since the Mister tends to read my blog every now and then .. but that doesn't mean I can't brainstorm.



One of my gift ideas is looking to be way above my budget.  I am trying to find a deal or get the hook-up somewhere but I am not thinking it will work out.  I am going to keep pushing towards it but I need a feasible back-up, too.  That's where #2 and #3 come into play.



My second gift idea is looking to be the most likely candidate.  It's something he has never specifically mentioned wanting but it plays into the bigger picture of things that we want down the line.  I think he would be excited (not to mention the seller has a decent return policy).



The third item is kind of a cop-out.  I know he wants it.  He's mentioned it before.  But what's the fun in that!?  I love giving gifts that are at least a little bit surprising and I feel like this doesn't do the job.



Mark is a really good gift-giver.  Like I said before, we don't gift during every holiday, but when we do, he usually nails it.  He always puts a lot of thought into what he gives me and it often stems from a comment I made months and months prior.  Whether it is sentimental or practical .. and whether he spends $20 or $200 .. I know he's thought about it and I know I will like it.



Which brings me back to my little list of three items.  I know he would love #1 and he would be shocked because, if I can get one, he would never suspect it because of the price range.  Gift #2 is a little risky only because he's never directly mentioned it.  And Gift #3 is a sure thing but totally boring.



At this point I am going to get #2 and possibly #3.  They aren't related but, combined, are still within my budget.  Hopefully #1 will come to fruition in the next week or so and it will all be moot.  I know this post seems to be kind of worthless but, by typing it all out, it has helped me sure up my decision-making and made me feel better about the whole thing.



Do you have a significant other that you celebrate with through gift giving?  Do you stick with gift list ideas like the one mentioned above or do you just pick something random that they would like?  Can you think of something awesome I should get that is made of aluminum?





UPDATE:  I bought items #2 and #3.  I will let you know what they are and if they were a success soon.

Holiday Transitions



 I love family holidays.  I don't have one of those families that have a lot of drama so when we get together we have a genuinely good time.  With that being said, I have grown pensive over the past week because I realized my current definition of a "family holiday" will soon change.

Growing up my family always kept the same pattern.  Aside from my parents, almost my entire family lives in Charleston.  For every big holiday we drove down to see them.  Thanksgivings were spent with my dad's family.  Christmas was split; the 23rd with my dad's side and the 25th with my mom's side.  When Mark and I got married, I was all of a sudden faced with the prospect that I wouldn't be there every time.  Mark had his own family and traditions that now had to merge with my own. 

The first Thanksgiving Mark and I got lucky.  My aunt/uncle/cousins on my dad's side came up to my parents house to spend the holiday.  Since Mark's family lives ten minutes from my parents' house, that made it easy.  We spent the afternoon with his family and the evening with mine.  When Christmas came, we I still hadn't come to terms with splitting the holidays.  That first Christmas involved a lot of driving.  We drove to Charleston for the day on the 23rd.  Spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with Mark's family and then drove back down to Charleston Christmas Day to be with my family.  Driving home, completely exhausted on Christmas Night, we realized we couldn't keep it up.  We had to share.

The next holiday season went more smoothly.  We spent Thanksgiving with my family in Charleston and the entire Christmas with Mark's family.  It was a lot of change but it turned out fun.  We have spent several holidays rotating back and forth (the next Thanksgiving was spent with his family and Christmas with mine .. so on and so forth) and everything seemed settled.  I spoke with my cousin on the phone earlier this week and it occurred to me that everything was going to get messed up again sooner than later.

Most of the changes are occurring on my side.  Cousins are growing up and starting families of their own.  I have one grandmother left.  Our 20+ person Christmases are dwindling.  Mark and I will be starting a family in the next couple years and that will complicate things further. The current arrangements will no longer work.

This year we are spending Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with Mark's.  This means we will be traveling to Charleston to see my Aunt and Uncle.  Already the shift is happening.  Two of my three cousins on that side will not be there.  One lives in Indiana and will be spending the holiday with her husband's family.  The other one works in DC and can't get off work. 

Christmas isn't fairing much better.  My aunt and uncle's house, the one everyone gathers at on Christmas Day, is up for sale.  They have an offer and may be closing on December 15th.  No one has decided what to do about Christmas Day yet.  Both my sister and I will be with our respective in-laws so my parents will be the only reps from our family this year.  My cousins on that side are scattering as well.  I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.

I know this is coming off as totally depressing and I certainly don't mean it that way.  Changes are exciting.  It means everyone is growing up and starting their own traditions.  It just means we will have to do the same. The family units are shifting and we need to jump on board. I do get excited thinking about the possibilities though.  Will we have Christmas at our house with both families?  Will we have some sort of rotation?  I don't know yet.  I actually am not planning anything (shock, I know!) because there are too many variables left up in the air. 

No matter what the future holds and what changes are made, the one thing I do know is that our holidays will always remain family-focused.  It's always been that way and it's the one thing that will always remain constant.

Being Thankful

Thanksgiving is upon us.  I feel like it came out of nowhere this year.  It was summer and then bam! it's November now.  This week I am going to focus on Thanksgiving themed posts.

Thanksgiving is traditionally a time for reflection.  Sometimes it is easy to forget that we have things to be grateful for.  Some days are tough and everything seems to go wrong.  Those are the hardest days, but even when things go badly, you are still alive and you are still loved.

Below is a list of 30 things I am thankful for.  A reason for every day this month:

1:  I am thankful for my God.  He is always there for me to protect and guide.  He shines a light on my path and, even in times of darkness, with Him I will always be able to see.

2:  I am thankful for my marriage.  Not everyone gets to be married, and of those that do, not everyone gets to marry their best friend.  I got to.  I married my best friend and I have never been happier.  The past ten years have been amazing.  We've had our ups and downs but, at the end of the day, I would never choose to go through life with anyone else.

3:  I am thankful for family.  They are my support system. The group of people that love me unconditionally and always want the best for me.  My parents gave me a wonderful childhood and my sister was my companion.  I am so glad they are mine.  I also have great in-laws.  I know some people don't get along with theirs but I see mine weekly and have always considered them my other mom and dad.

4:  I am thankful for food and water.  There are many, many people in this world (some right in this city) that skip meals not by choice but because they have to.  I have a friend that works in a lower-income school district and she spoke about how she can tell when the food has run out at home at the end of the month because the kids come in starving.  Poverty is not just a third-world issue.  I am thankful that I have food and that I have never known true hunger.

5:  I am thankful for my health.  I take this for granted more often than I should.  God gave me a wonderful body and I should treat it with more respect.  I taken a lot of steps to improve/maintain my health but there is always more I can do.  I am thankful that I continue to get second chances and that nothing too serious has ever happened.  If I ever get sick, I hope to use it as a reminder to cherish the well times.

6:  I am thankful for my education. I was blessed with a college degree.  I had the opportunity to pursue my dream and take advantage of many opportunities.  I wish I could say education was a priority for everyone but it is not.  It is a privilege that I got to partake in.  I know my life is improved because of it and for that I am thankful.

7:  I am thankful for friends.  I am close with my family but nothing replaces great friends.  I am blessed to have a network of people willing to come to my aid at any time.  To know that you have people in your corner gives you a kind of strength that's hard to get anywhere else.  I love my friends and try to tell them often.

8:  I am thankful for God's provision.  He meets me where I am and He never puts me in a situation I can't handle.  Most people think that He gives you a set of tools/skills and that you might use these for all situations.  This is not true.  Every day you wake up, He prepares you for that day.  If something comes along, he will provide you the strength, courage, support, etc that you need.  Always.
9:  I am thankful for joy.  This, too, comes from the Lord.  I am thankful for the joy in my heart.  I am not always perfectly happy but, through Him, I always have my joy.

10:  I am thankful for children.  It may be cliche but it is true .. they are our future.  I am thankful that one day I may have the opportunity to be a mom.  The responsibility to shape a young life is huge and I am grateful for the challenge.

11: I am thankful for freedoms.  We have so many freedoms that we take for granted.  There are big freedoms like the freedom of speech and the freedom of religion.  Then there are smaller freedoms like the ability to take a day off of work whenever you like or the ability to shop and have fun.  Many countries don't have this right.  Their governments tell them what they can and can not say and what they can and can not believe.  They have to work no matter what .. even if it kills them.  They can't spend a Saturday leisurely.  I can.  I have to remind myself that these privileges are not worldwide.  I need to be thankful for this at all times.
12:  I am thankful for football.  This may seem silly but it represents more than the game.  I am a big fan of college sports and especially SEC football.  This means that during football season there is much camaraderie, tailgating and socializing to be had.  This is what I am thankful for; the fellowship, food and fun that is only found during this time of year.

13:  I am thankful for church family.  This is a big one.  Church has nothing to do with a building.  It has to do with the people.  You can have "church" at someones house.  You can have it in a multi-million dollar building.  It doesn't matter.  With that being said, my church/church family is a big part of my life.   They are some of the best friends I have ever had.  I love them so much and am SO thankful they are in my life.

14:  I am thankful for diversity.  How boring would it be if everyone was the same?!  Diversity is a great thing.  I am thankful that all my friends are not the same as me.  I certainly need the balance in my life.
15:  I am thankful for my job/paycheck.  This is a big one, too.  Not everyone can say they have a job and a paycheck that pays their bills.  I can.  Enough said.

16:  I am thankful for books.  I am an avid reader.  I am thankful for books and their expressive nature.  They stoke the fire of my imagination and allow me to discover new things.  This also falls under freedom of speech.  Double thanks.

17:  I am thankful for my dog.  He is my "four-legged first born" and I am thankful for him.  I am thankful for the lessons he teaches me in love, forgiveness and devotion.  I am thankful for this demands for belly rubs and his company.  He's the best.

18:  I am thankful for music.  Once again, this falls under the freedom of expression.  Music has the ability to fill in the blanks where words can't.  It evokes emotion like no other.  It's a huge stress reliever.  For that I am thankful.

19:  I am thankful for having a home.  Once again, some people can not claim to own a roof over their head or even have a roof.  I do.  It's mine and I own it and there is no current threat that I might. (Thanks paycheck!)

20:  I am thankful for flexibility.  I am a planner and like schedule and control but I am not so OCD where I have lost my flexibility.  I am thankful for this.  If I was so obsessive where when one tiny thing went wrong I would lose my mind .. this would sadden me.  I have maintained the quality of my life through flexibility and for this I am thankful.

21:  I am thankful for grace.  This is another God-granted gift.  This gift is in regards to salvation, mercy and love.  I am a sinful creature but do to His grace I can get a do-over.

22:  I am thankful for forgiveness.  Like I previously mentioned, I have a sinful nature.  I am not perfect.  Forgiveness from God and the forgiveness from my family and friends is crucial. 

23:  I am thankful for down time.  This also reference lazy Saturdays.  I am thankful that I have the ability to relax.  I am not on a constant search for food, shelter or money.  I have a roof over my head everything I need.  I do not have to be in constant motion in order to live.  This is all a good thing because I love my couch.

24:  I am thankful for Thanksgiving.  Yes, the holiday.  As Americans we move so fast all the time.  Sometimes it takes a national holiday for us to slow down.  This is it.  I am thankful that there is an entire day devoted to giving thanks and showing the people around you that you love them.

25:  I am thankful for Black Friday.  This is purely about money.  Some people have a little, and some people have a lot, but the majority of people have at least a little something extra in order to buy something nice for someone. (How many some- could I get in one sentence? Geez!) I am thankful for all the "extras" in life.

26:  I am thankful for family traditions.  These are the common threads that trickle down through the generations.  These are the things that connect great-grandchildren with great-grandparents.  These are the things that live on long after we are gone.  I am so thankful for all of these memories and traditions.

27:  I am thankful for blogging.  I've said it before.  This is my outlet.  This is my form of expression and I never realized how much I needed it until I did it.  Through this blog I have the ability to share what is on my heart.  I can give to others through stories, tips, recipes, and ideas.  It allows me to organize my thoughts and share in the process.  I was never one for keeping a written journal .. turns out all I needed was a keyboard.

28:  I am thankful for readers.  I am SO thankful for you guys.  When I started this I never thought I would have people read this.  I always hoped, sure, but never expected it.  Months later, I have readers.  Some of you visit me regularly and some of you only visit me every once in a while.  No matter what, I am thankful that you have read my words.  It means a lot to me.  Truly.

29:  I am thankful for the past Novembers.  This is more about the fact that I am thankful for the past.  From that past we learn lessons and make mistakes.  We gain perspective and hindsight.  There are things that I regret but I would never ever take them back because the lessons I gained are far more valuable.

30:  I am thankful for the future Novembers.  I am thankful for my future in general.  I have no idea what tomorrow brings but I know I will love it.  There are so many "milestones" that I have yet to reach.  I am thankful for the chance to do so.


What are you thankful for?

Words of Wisdom from Bob Marley

Fruit of the Spirit

source

I spent last weekend with a group of amazing women.  Twenty-seven of us traveled to North Myrtle Beach, SC for a time of fellowship and worship.  I go every year but this year was especially poignant for me.  I felt Him and I was challenged.  The theme this year was Fruit of the Spirit which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  I have spent this week camping on these terms, doing word studies, and below is a brief summation of what I have found. 

I know I most often use my blog for fun things like cooking, organizing and decorating but, through all of this, my goal is transparency.  If I am to be transparent then I must show you what has been so heavily on my heart...

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.  For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.  But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law.  Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

- Galatians 5:16-23 (NASB)

LOVE ~ We are to love one another.  Loving someone who is nice to us and loves us back is the easy part.  It is also only the tip of the iceberg.  We are also called to love those who do not love us back.  The ones who openly hate us.  The ones that aren't nice.  The ones that are down and out.  The ones that have nothing to give us in return.

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;  bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

- Colossians 3:12-14

JOY ~ Joy is a choice.  This is really important.  It is not just a feeling any more than love is just a feeling.  It's a decision.  Also, joy does not equal happiness.  I have most often found the joy in my life during periods of trial.  Ever heard the phrase "I may love you right now but I don't necessarily like you."  Joy is similar but instead should read "I may have joy right now but I am not happy".  When things go south it is easy to become downtrodden.  You have to have joy.  Joy means believing in your heart that God has your best interest at heart.  Even when times are tough, focus on all the ways God IS providing and be thankful.

I will be full of joy in the Lord, my soul will be glad in my God; for he has put on me the clothing of salvation, covering me with the robe of righteousness, as the husband puts on a fair head-dress, and the bride makes herself beautiful with jewels.

- Isaiah 61:10

PEACE ~ Peace is a hard one.  It's being content and knowing God is in control.  For me, my nature is to plan and try to take care of everything.  The hardest lesson for me to learn is that sometimes .. the only thing I can do .. is let go.  God never sleeps.  He is always in control.  At times when I am calm and at peace and I can sleep easily with the storm raging around me .. those are the times that I know I have found peace.

The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You.  Trust in the Lord forever, for in God the Lord, we have an everlasting Rock.

- Isaiah 26:3-4


For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.

- 1 Corinthians 14:33

PATIENCE ~Waiting.  This is a really hard thing for me.  It's part of my nature as a planner.  I think I have everything figured out and then He doesn't move when I "need" him to.  I purposely put the quotations because no one knows what I need better than He does.  He always has my best interest at heart and he will always provide what I need.  Therefore, I need to wait. Patiently.  Quietly.  To us, hindsight is 20/20 and we always see why things worked out for the better.  God sees 20/20 in the past, present and future.  He never says "if I only knew" because he always does.

I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry.  He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, an He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.  He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord.

- Psalm 40:1-3

KINDNESS ~ I think kindness comes most naturally.  I also believe that I often think of kind things to do but never actually do them .. all the while still giving myself some sort of credit for it.  This is not done consciously but it is still done.  Giving a helping hand, a smile or a kind word is really important.  Try to say something mean with a smile on your face.  Or tell someone you love them while frowning.  It is really hard to do.  I think if you smile more often then your actions will follow and I wouldn't be surprised if your mood is bolstered because of it.

For length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.  Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man.

- Proverbs 3:2-4

GOODNESS ~ Goodness is multi-faceted.  It is a combination of kindness, grace and purification from wickedness. 

For it is by grace you have been saved through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not as a result of works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

- Ephesians 2:8-10

Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.  At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures.  We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.  But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy.  He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by His grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.  This is a trustworthy saying.  And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good.  These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.

- Titus 3:1-8

FAITHFULNESS ~ When I think of faithfulness, I think of a promise of unconditional devotion.  It means "I am pulling for you. No matter what.  Every time."  We don't see a lot of faithfulness in the world.  People tend to get finicky about things; whether it's because it got hard, unpopular or inconvenient.  We tend to root for our teams .. until a better team comes along.  Faithfulness means you will always keep the best interest at heart.  You support and love without ceasing.  God shows us unwavering faithfulness and we should do the same.

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, or his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is tour faithfulness.  I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

- Lamentations 3:22-24

I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there" and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you.

- Matthew 17:20-21

GENTLENESS ~ Gentleness is akin to kindness.  I have learned that sometimes I just need to be gentler.  I need to control my tongue more.  I need to listen more and talk less.  I tend to be a little too blunt and a little too forceful with the ones I love.  I know that they love me unconditionally (especially my husband) but that does not give me the write to hurt his feelings.  This does not mean I need to sugar coat or lie, though.  It just means that I need to take in consideration the other person's feelings before I end up steam-rolling them.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  The tongue of the wise makes knowledge axceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly.  The eyes of the Lord are in every place, watching the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:1-3

Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
- Ephesians 4:1-3

SELF-CONTROL ~ This is the fruit that I need to work on the most.  Most people assume I have a lot of self-control because I seem organized and on top of things.  This isn't a false front.  I am organized and I typically am on top of things.  This is not what I need to work on. This is not what self-control means.  Self-control has nothing to do with self.  It has nothing to do with my works.  It has everything to do with me surrendering my control and allowing God to take over.  And this is precisely what I need to work on.  I have spent so much time controlling my "bubble" and really it's all in vain.  God has a plan and he is in complete control.  I get so wrapped up in the daily minutiae and I need to stop.  There are some things that, no matter what, I can not plan or control them.  A big example of this is starting a family.  I can not control when I get pregnant. I can do everything right but I will not be successful unless it is God's will.  I can not plan and make sure we are ready because we never will be.  I will never have enough in savings.  I will never have everything figured out.  I need to stop pushing so hard, gain some self-control and ALLOW myself to give up.  It is not weakness.  It is strength.  It is not failure.  It is success. 

Here's my confession:  We want to start a family but I have not allowed myself to give up the control yet.  I haven't allowed myself to come to terms with the fact that .. no matter what I do .. I will never be prepared.  I know all of this is my head but I need to know it in my heart.  I need God to move in me and allow me to release these stresses.  It is my personal battle and I am losing.  I have put my own comforts (comfort in knowing "we got this covered") ahead of my love for God and my love for my husband.  My husband has been completely patient and is waiting for me.  Because of this study I have made vast improvements.  I am not out of the woods yet but I have called out my sin and uncovered it's face.  I can not hide anymore and I need to face the truth.  This is the only way I can move forward and praise Him.

But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.
- 1 Thessalonians 5:8

Therefore, prepare your minds for actions; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.  As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be hold , because I am holy."
- 1 Peter 1:13-16

Perfect Sunrise.  Perfect Promise.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.  For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
- 2 Peter 1:5-9

By the way - The picture below is of the shirts I had made for the retreat.  My friend Heather at Fermata Threads created them.  She is great to work with and has secured my business from now on.  If you have any tshirt needs, please visit her.  Thanks!



Thanks Heather!