Holiday Transitions



 I love family holidays.  I don't have one of those families that have a lot of drama so when we get together we have a genuinely good time.  With that being said, I have grown pensive over the past week because I realized my current definition of a "family holiday" will soon change.

Growing up my family always kept the same pattern.  Aside from my parents, almost my entire family lives in Charleston.  For every big holiday we drove down to see them.  Thanksgivings were spent with my dad's family.  Christmas was split; the 23rd with my dad's side and the 25th with my mom's side.  When Mark and I got married, I was all of a sudden faced with the prospect that I wouldn't be there every time.  Mark had his own family and traditions that now had to merge with my own. 

The first Thanksgiving Mark and I got lucky.  My aunt/uncle/cousins on my dad's side came up to my parents house to spend the holiday.  Since Mark's family lives ten minutes from my parents' house, that made it easy.  We spent the afternoon with his family and the evening with mine.  When Christmas came, we I still hadn't come to terms with splitting the holidays.  That first Christmas involved a lot of driving.  We drove to Charleston for the day on the 23rd.  Spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with Mark's family and then drove back down to Charleston Christmas Day to be with my family.  Driving home, completely exhausted on Christmas Night, we realized we couldn't keep it up.  We had to share.

The next holiday season went more smoothly.  We spent Thanksgiving with my family in Charleston and the entire Christmas with Mark's family.  It was a lot of change but it turned out fun.  We have spent several holidays rotating back and forth (the next Thanksgiving was spent with his family and Christmas with mine .. so on and so forth) and everything seemed settled.  I spoke with my cousin on the phone earlier this week and it occurred to me that everything was going to get messed up again sooner than later.

Most of the changes are occurring on my side.  Cousins are growing up and starting families of their own.  I have one grandmother left.  Our 20+ person Christmases are dwindling.  Mark and I will be starting a family in the next couple years and that will complicate things further. The current arrangements will no longer work.

This year we are spending Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with Mark's.  This means we will be traveling to Charleston to see my Aunt and Uncle.  Already the shift is happening.  Two of my three cousins on that side will not be there.  One lives in Indiana and will be spending the holiday with her husband's family.  The other one works in DC and can't get off work. 

Christmas isn't fairing much better.  My aunt and uncle's house, the one everyone gathers at on Christmas Day, is up for sale.  They have an offer and may be closing on December 15th.  No one has decided what to do about Christmas Day yet.  Both my sister and I will be with our respective in-laws so my parents will be the only reps from our family this year.  My cousins on that side are scattering as well.  I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.

I know this is coming off as totally depressing and I certainly don't mean it that way.  Changes are exciting.  It means everyone is growing up and starting their own traditions.  It just means we will have to do the same. The family units are shifting and we need to jump on board. I do get excited thinking about the possibilities though.  Will we have Christmas at our house with both families?  Will we have some sort of rotation?  I don't know yet.  I actually am not planning anything (shock, I know!) because there are too many variables left up in the air. 

No matter what the future holds and what changes are made, the one thing I do know is that our holidays will always remain family-focused.  It's always been that way and it's the one thing that will always remain constant.