Intermission

Hey guys,

I know it seems like I have abandoned House Without Elephants but I haven't.  HWE is the place I go to discuss what's going on in my life, both good and bad.  I named it HWE because I promised I would keep no secrets .. if my life was a mess, you would know about it .. if it was awesome, I would brag (haha jk). 

In the past couple months or so, my life has been focused on a couple big things .. unfortunately, I can't discuss those at this time.  I know that seems to go against my original HWE promise but here's why:  If it only had to do with me, you would know about it.  Since it involves others, I can't.  Sometimes there's a privacy line and I have to respect it.  I hope to fill you in soon though .. and eventually it will all come out.

This isn't an excuse to stop blogging though .. it's just that other than this elephant, my life has been fairly mundane lately.  I have chosen not to bore you with all the "I woke up, went to work, came home and went to bed"s in my life so I just .. haven't.  This is not to say I am gone.  If something cool is happening, I will be right back here. Usually I maintain a fairly steady pace of 20+ posts a month and I hope to get back to that soon.  In the meantime, I hope everyone has a great week and please check back often!

Love, Jess

Body Worlds: Vital

*** WARNING:  There are graphic pictures below. If you have a weak stomach, be forewarned .. but even if you do .. please try to look anyway. ***

The weekend before last, Mark and I went to Asheville and had an amazing long weekend.  I took tons of pictures .. and they are still sitting on the camera.  I promise to write that post asap.  In the meantime, I wanted to tell you about what we did yesterday!

The South Carolina State Museum recently hosted an exhibit called BODY WORLDS Vital.  Have you heard about this!?  It's pretty much the coolest thing ever!  Here's a little video about it:

Basically, this anatomist named Gunther von Hagens came up with a process of preservation called plastination.  The process takes a human cadaver, removes all the fluid (blood, etc.) and replaces it with a type of polymer.  This process halts decomposition and preserves the body perfectly .. whole. 

There are several different exhibits around the world right now.  The BODY WORLDS Vital exhibit focuses on educating the public on body awareness and health.  There are several bodies posed to show how we look mid-action (dancing, singing, running, etc.)  The bodies are REAL and they are dissected in a way to show you all the muscle groups, nerves, arteries, etc.  IT. IS. ABSOLUTELY. FASCINATING.

It also shows REAL comparisons of certain diseases.   You see a real side-by-side organs affected by lifestyle choices.  Here are a couple examples:

The lungs on the left are a smoker's lungs.  The donor was an average smoker all his life .. NOT a 3-pack-a-day-worst-of-the-worst smoker.  The lungs on the right are healthy and belonged to a non-smoker.  LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE!  I had always heard that smoking turns your lungs black but IT REALLY DOES.  It was drastic and you could see the necrosis.

The other crazy comparison was obesity:

The body on the left is a male of average stature.  The body on the right is of an obese male.  Seeing all the areas that fat infiltrates the body and the organs is just crazy.  It certainly makes you look at your own health more closely.

All in all this exhibit is DEFINITELY worth seeing.  I am not sure where Vital will travel next (yesterday was the last day in Columbia, SC).  If it comes anywhere near you, PLEASE go see it (or any of the other Body Worlds)  It is amazing and not horrific at all.  There were plenty of school-age children there (although there is genitalia so make sure your child can handle it.) 

I wish a) I had seen this sooner so the exhibit would still be open (and thus you could see it) and b) there was more.  I just couldn't get enough! 

*There was no photography or videography allowed in the exhibit.  All pictures were pulled off the internet.  They are of real thing that I saw while there.

What did you do this weekend?  Have you seen Body Worlds Vital?  Did you love it?

And the winner is........

When I first decided to start a Quarterly Review and Giveaway, I wasn't entirely sure if there would be much response.  Reading is such a personal thing and so you never know what will attract the most attention.

To be completely honest, I happened to have an extra copy of Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster laying around so I figured I would just start with that.  Between responses on my blog and my facebook page, the feedback was encouraging.  Next quarter I plan on actually choosing a book and buying it specifically for the next giveaway.  I'm not sure what it will be yet but we will find out soon enough :)

In the meantime, the winner of this quarter's book giveaway is...

TRACY!

Congratulations to Tracy and thank you to everyone else that participated! It means a lot to me that you continually read my musings. I appreciate each and every one of you! Have a happy Friday and a great weekend!

Spring Cleaning by Jiggs in Transition

I'm doing a lot of reposts this week but it's just that kind of week. Here's a GREAT one from my friend over at Jiggs in Transition. She did a post today titled "Spring Cleaning" and it is a must read.

Check it out below and add her to your feed!


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Houses get dirty, over and over again. It doesnt matter how hard you try, there will be something new to clean. And yet, we clean. We clean knowing that the house is going to get dirty again. We organize and reorganize our closets. We pack away winter clothes, we have yard sales...we're always cleaning up some part of our house. And just as we fall down in a sweaty huff on the clean couch, someone tracks in something, knocks something over, or pulls something out to play with.

And what do we do?

We clean it up.

We have no problem dealing again and again with the vicious cycle of filth in our homes.

Why? Because someone might come over! Because it makes us feel at peace! Because our families deserve a nice home! Because its so nice to be in a home free from clutter and yuck! Ahhh..because it feels good!! And because if we didnt stay on top of it, it would get out of control. Who wants to live in out of control filth!!?

We do it because we care about the condition of our homes!!

There is a different house we maintain. Its the house of our hearts and souls. A place were very important guests live. God himself. How many of us have given up on regularly cleaning up our souls because "Its just going to get dirty again. I'm not perfect." Thats not a good enough excuse for our homes, why should it be good enough for our hearts? ...Let's reword my post.

Souls get dirty, over and over again. It doesnt matter how hard you try, there will be something new to atone for. And yet, we repent. We repent knowing that our soul is going to get dirty again. We organize and reorganize our plans to change. We pack away bad habits, end bad relationships, and vow to never mess up like that again...we're always repenting of some part of our soul. And just as we fall down in a sweaty huff in our warm sanctified heart, someone makes us jealous, tempts us away, or pushes our buttons. And what do we do? We ask God for forgiveness again, and ask him to help us change. We turn away from it and start over...We let God clean it up.

We have no problem dealing again and again with our mistakes, and fighting against sin in our lives.

Why? Because someone might want to know us? Because it makes us feel at peace? Because our God deserves that sacrifice? Because its so nice to have a heart free from clutter and yuck. Ahhh..because it feels good!! And because if we didnt stay on top of it, it would get out of control. Who wants to live in out of control filth!!?

We do it because we care about the condition of our souls.

:) Happy Dusting

Motherhood 101: The First Year by Kate Conner

source

My friend Lena sent me the link below.  I am blogging this so I can a) share it with all of you moms out there, and b) have it on hand for when my time comes.

Motherhood 101: The First Year | Kate Conner


Thoughts?

The Book Hook

How do you keep your place in a book?  Do you dog-ear pages?  Use a proper bookmark?  Or do you just stuff in whatever scrap of paper is nearby?  Personally I have several "real" bookmarks but tend to favor the same one over and over again:

Clearly it is well-loved and it will be a sad, sad day when I can no longer keep it in one piece.  I have no clue why I am so attached to it but I am.  In case you can't read the quote, it says:

"Such is the irresistible nature of truth that all it asks, and all it wants, is the liberty of appearing."  -Thomas Payne

In the event that I can no longer resuscitate my dear pink friend, maybe I should consider the alternatives??  The Book Hook would be a neat architectural way to display your current read!  It would even make an interesting book end.  Would you use something like this?


source



Devotional: April 8th

.. quoted from the free app ..

I am with you and for you, your constant Companion and Provider.  The question is whether you are with Me and for Me.  Though I never leave you, you can essentially "leave" Me by ignoring Me: thinking or acting as if I am not with you.  When you feel distance in our relationship, you know where the problem lies.  My Love for you is constant; I am the same yesterday, today, and forever.  It is you who change like shifting sand, letting circumstances toss you this way and that.

When you feel far from Me, whisper My Name.  This simple act, done in childlike faith, opens your heart to My Presence.  Speak to Me in love-tones; prepare to receive My Love, which flows eternally from the cross.  I am delighted when you open yourself to My loving Presence.

"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land.  I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."
~ Genesis 28:15

What, then, shall we say in response to this?  If God is for us, who can be against us?
~ Romans 8:31

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
~ Hebrews 13:8

Devotional: April 7th

.. quoted from the free app ..

I am the Potter; you are My clay.  I designed you before the foundation of the world.  I arrange the events of each day to form you into this preconceived pattern.  My everlasting Love is at work in every event of your life.  On some days your will and Mine flow smoothly together.  You tend to feel in control of your life when our wills are in harmony.  On other days you feel as if you are swimming upstream, against the current of My purposes.  When that happens, stop and seek My Face.  The opposition you feel may be from Me, or it may be from the evil one.

Talk with Me about what you are experiencing.  Let My Spirit guide you through treacherous waters.  As you move through the turbulent stream with Me, let circumstance mold you into the one I desire you to be.  Say yes to your Potter as you go through this day.

Yet, O Lord, you are our Father.  We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.
~ Isaiah 64:8

My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, Lord, I will seek.
~ Psalm 27:8

Devotional: April 6th

.. quoted from the free app ..

Bring Me the sacrifice of thanksgiving.  Take nothing for granted, not even the rising of the sun.  Before Satan tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden, thankfulness was as natural as breathing.  Satan's temptation involved pointing Eve to the one thing that was forbidden her.  The garden was filled with luscious, desirable fruits, but Eve focused on the one fruit she couldn't have rather than being thankful for the many good things freely available.  This negative focus darkened her mind, and she succumbed to temptation.

When you focus on what you don't have or on situations that displease you, your mind also becomes darkened.  You take for granted life, salvation, sunshine, flowers, and countless other gifts from Me.  You look for what is wrong and refuse to enjoy life until that is "fixed."

When you approach Me with thanksgiving, the Light of My Presence pours into you, transforming you through and through.  Walk in the Light with Me by practicing the discipline of thanksgiving.

I will offer to You the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the Lord.
~ Psalm 116:17

The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, "You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die."  "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman.
~ Genesis 3:2-4

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
~ 1 John 1:7

Devotional: April 5th

.. quoted from the free app ..

Let Me fill you with my Love, Joy, and Peace.  These are Glory-gifts, flowing from my living Presence.  Though you are an earthen vessel, I designed you to be filled with heavenly contents.  Your weakness is not a deterrent to being filled with My Spirit; on the contrary, it provides an opportunity for My Power to shine forth more brightly.  As you go through this day, trust Me to provide the strength that you need moment by moment.  Don't waste energy wondering whether you are adequate for today's journey.  My Spirit within you is more than sufficient to handle whatever this day may bring.  That is the basis for your confidence!  In quietness (spending time alone with Me) and confident trust (relying on My sufficiency) is your strength.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.
~ 2 Corinthians 4:7

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it."
~ Isaiah 30:15

midweek confessions

- For some reason my car had zero tint when I bought it. Usually you have something from the factory but my car had zilch. This meant my car got a million degrees in the summer. In an effort to beat the heat just a little bit, I had my windows tinted last Saturday. When I dropped my car off the tint guy said he would have to remove any stickers from the inside of my window. I told him I had one "University of South Carolina" sticker and that I didn't mind it being removed. It wasn't until I got home later that I noticed my USC sticker was still there! I was apparently the last appointment of the day because when we called no one answered. Monday finally came and I called up the shop. The conversation went a little something like this:

"Hey, this is Jessie. I brought my car in on Saturday to get my windows tinted and I noticed my USC sticker is still on the window."

"Oh yeah, I remember your car. I thought you liked the sticker so we put it back"
"Um... :: awkward pause :: I like it but not forever! I will eventually want to take it off...."
" :: silence :: You can take it off whenever you want."
"How can I take it off? Isn't laminated to the window?! I don't want to mess anything up."
"It's on the outside of the tint."
"So I won't mess up the tint when I try to scrap it off?"
" :: most.awkward.silence.ever ::  No, the window will be fine."
"OK, well if you're sure .. thanks! Bye!"

So then I hang up because I feel SO JUDGED and I think this entire conversation is legit. I mean, who re-sticks a sticker to a window? You usually have to razor that stuff off! So I went outside to look because I just didn't believe it. I climbed in the back seat and reached for the sticker, only to discover IT'S A FREAKING STATIC CLING-ON STICKER! :: smacks forehead :: I felt like SUCH an idiot.  I was probably the story they told their friends about!  The one that starts like "You will NOT believe what happened at work today...."

- My friend Lea has a blog called Buck Buck Goose. It's super cute and a great way for me to keep up with the comings and goings of our Colorado friends. Lea is a Pediatric PA so she has a ton of knowledge to share about the littlest ones among us. She recently started a series called Medical Mondays where she highlights certain hot topics and gives advice for parents. Here's my confession: I LOVE these posts and I don't miss a single one. I am sure there are several committed followers out there so that is not the problem .. the problem is that THIS follower has no kids. Soooo I end up just learning a bunch of extraneous information that I can't apply. Nice. Hopefully it will one day come in handy but in the meantime I will just be that girl...

- Mark and I decided we needed a vacation so we are taking advantage of some familial connections and going up to the mountains this weekend. Mark is really looking forward to this trip (maybe he needs a break worse than I thought) and has taken it upon himself to plan out our entire weekend. I am usually the planner in the family so the fact that he has voluntarily done this makes me SO happy. I don't have to worry about a thing .. I just need to be packed and in the car. Now THAT'S a vacation. :)

- Since I read so much I have decided to begin a quarterly book review and giveaway and I am really excited about it! I just posted it yesterday and I already have several people signed up .. SO .. if you want a free book then check it out! The winner will be announced Friday, April 13th!

So what are YOU confessing this week?

First Quarter Book Review and GIVEAWAY 2012

I've mentioned it many times before ... I'm a reader and I LOVE books.  I read quite a lot and people ask me frequently about what I am reading and if I have any suggestions.  To make it easy on everyone, I've decided to do a general review every few months.  I will discuss what books I have read and their general genres.  I will attach links to their GoodReads page for easy reference.  (Please note I am not being compensated by GoodReads.  I have patronized their website for several years now and I love it .. therefore I'm just passing it along....)  Now down to booky business:


I read 40 books this quarter.  Here are my "Top 10" of those forty.  In no particular order...


DESIGN / ART / HOME
With several projects on my to do list, it only seemed natural to do my homework.

Domino: The Book of Decorating  by Deborah Needleman, Sara Ruffin Costello and Dara Caponigro
This book is a room-by-room guide to creating a home that makes you happy.  Written in a sort of textbook/manual format, this book will give you tips, tricks and advice for almost any room in your house.  I LOVED this book (and in fact bought it!).  The photography is gorgeous and I kept wanting to bookmark ideas!  There are several pages in the very back devoted to educating the reader on things like design terms, furniture styles, and great buying sources.  This is a must read for anyone with an eye for design.  It makes a great coffee table book, too.

Design*Sponge at Home by Grace Bonney
This home decor bible is the child project of the Design*Sponge blog.  It is a mecca of ideas that any DIYer would LOVE!  This book features 70 real-life tours of different artists/designers, 50 DIY projects, 50 before-and-afters, as well as sections on floral arranging and tutorials.  The projects covered range from a few dollars to several hundred.  The realistic approach makes this the perfect companion for someone revamping their home on a budget...  Loved. It.


CHICKLIT /  PARANORMAL / ROMANCE
This genre seems to be an easy go-to lately.  They are fast, entertaining reads and there are a ton out there.

Smolder by Penelope Fletcher
I discovered this author a couple years ago when I received one of her books for free with my Nook. She is a young writer out of the UK and generally camps in the paranormal romance genre.  Whereas most people jumped on the Twilight-bandwagon, Fletcher takes a different approach.  Her characters are typically of a more obscure affliction and tend to have larger dramas.  I really enjoy her writing and find her not as predictable as most.  Smolder was the first (and currently only..) in a new series and I am very much looking forward to her second installment. Below is an excerpt description from GoodReads:

Wounded, a dragon drops from the sky to crash in front of Marina in an explosion of fire. She does the only reasonable thing a girl can do... she saves his life. Marina knows any moment may be her last, yet she cannot deny the connection between her and the alluring creature. When two more dragons appear and lead a dangerous assassin to their hiding place, the truth about her dragon is unveiled. The consequences of falling for a creature gifts Marina wonders never before seen... in this world.

Wicked Appetite by Janet Evanovich
Evanovich is the author of the ever-popular Stephanie Plum series.  I have not read that particular series but it has been floating around my "to read" list for a while.  During a recent stay at a friend's home, I came across Wicked Appetite on her bookshelf.  I picked it up and read through it in only a couple hours.  The story involves Lizzie and a cast of characters as they search to destroy relics that represent the Seven Deadly Sins.  Gluttony is the focus in Wicked Appetite.  This is the first book in the series, with the second installment coming soon.  Below is an excerpt description from GoodReads:

Life in Marblehead has had a pleasant predictability, until Diesel arrives. Rumor has it that a collection of priceless ancient relics representing the Seven Deadly Sins have made their way to Boston’s North Shore. Partnered with pastry chef Lizzie Tucker, Diesel bullies and charms his way through historic Salem to track them down—and his criminal mastermind cousin Gerewulf Grimorie. The black-haired, black-hearted Wulf is on the hunt for the relic representing gluttony. Caught in a race against time, Diesel and Lizzie soon find out that more isn’t always better, as they battle Wulf and the first of the deadly sins. With delectable characters and non-stop thrills that have made Janet Evanovich a household name, Wicked Appetite will leave you hungry for more.

Highlander Series by Karen Marie Moning
Moning (rhymes with 'awning') is, so far, my favorite fiction writer.  Her Fever Series is my favorite fiction series of all time.  She creates these characters that just get under your skin and you can't.stop.thinking.about.them.  She could pretty much publish her grocery list and I would read it.  Moning got her start with the Highlander Series. I'm just going to warn you .. it definitely falls in the half-naked-dude-on-the-cover-unrealistic-romance-novel genre.  Fever is more modern-day paranormal so I wasn't expecting this when I picked it up.  If you like these kinds of books then take a look at this series.  Highlander deals with time-travel, the Scottish Highlands, Druids, fae, and lots and lots of sex.  There are seven books in the series (#5 was my favorite!) but you don't have to read them all together.  I would pair 1 & 2 and 4 & 5 though.


Night Huntress Series by Jeaniene Frost
This is a (so far) six book series and I loved it.  The story focus on Catherine "Cat" Crawford.  She is a half-vampire who kills other vampires.  One night, she falters and is captured by bounty-hunter-vampire Bones.  They realize they both have the same goal of killing vampires so they team up and wreak havoc.  If you enjoyed the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris or books such as that, then check this out.  The series covers several years and the many adventures of the duo.




FICTION / HISTORICAL / MYSTERY

Poison Study by Maria Snyder
Yelena lives in a world where, during peace times, killing for any reason is punishable by death. The story begins when Yelena, who killed a man out of self-defense, is dragged from the castle dungeon to face her sentencing.  She's unexpectedly given a choice though; a quick death at the noose, or a possible slow death by poison as the King's taster.  She chooses life and becomes the throne's guinea pig.  The story is full of intrigue, mystery, and action.  Below is an excerpt description from GoodReads:

Choose: A quick death…Or slow poison…

About to be executed for murder, Yelena is offered an extraordinary reprieve. She'll eat the best meals, have rooms in the palace—and risk assassination by anyone trying to kill the Commander of Ixia.

And so Yelena chooses to become a food taster. But the chief of security, leaving nothing to chance, deliberately feeds her Butterfly's Dust—and only by appearing for her daily antidote will she delay an agonizing death from the poison.

As Yelena tries to escape her new dilemma, disasters keep mounting. Rebels plot to seize Ixia and Yelena develops magical powers she can't control. Her life is threatened again and choices must be made. But this time the outcomes aren't so clear…

DYSTOPIA / YOUNG ADULT / SCIENCE FICTION


Unwind by Neal Shusterman
I already had a heart for dystopian novels before I came across Unwind but this took it to an entirely new level. It's creepy and thought-provoking in its realism. Usually the "World War 3"s of dystopian novels are so futuristic, and the results so drastic that, although disturbing, they leave a considerable gap that can be a stretch to bridge sometimes. Unwind was different in that it hit a little closer to home. This story is set in the not-so-distant future. "World War 3" in this instance was a Pro-Life vs Pro-Choice war called the Heartland War. The result was a "compromise" that resulted in parents being given the 'right' to unwind their troublemaker kids if they didn't want them anymore; but at the age of 16 and not at birth .. so the pro-life camp "won" because they count on parents growing to love their children and the pro-choice camp "won" because parents still have a 'way out'. Basically unwinding means the chosen kids are dissected because they would be more useful to society in a divided state versus whole. This story is fascinating and disturbing. The part that gave me the most pause was when we experienced an unwinding through the senses of a patient. This is technically a YA novel but it has a message that anyone should read. I loved this book and I won't soon forget it. Below is an excerpt description from GoodReads:

The Second Civil War was fought over reproductive rights. The chilling resolution: Life is inviolable from the moment of conception until age thirteen. Between the ages of thirteen and eighteen, however, parents can have their child "unwound," whereby all of the child's organs are transplanted into different donors, so life doesn't technically end. Connor is too difficult for his parents to control. Risa, a ward of the state is not enough to be kept alive. And Lev is a tithe, a child conceived and raised to be unwound. Together, they may have a chance to escape and to survive.

PSYCHOLOGY / CHRISTIAN / MARRIAGE

Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman
Whether you have been married for 20 years or 20 minutes, you need to read this book. Seriously.  Everyone pretty much knows how to have sex.  The mechanics aren't complicated.  The thing is, it is way more than just the mechanics.  Dr. Leman certainly covers the "how to" for those that need to know but most of the book is geared to those that have been doing it awhile (pun intended).  It discusses His design for what it should be like.  It exposes the thoughts and feelings of your spouse.  It pretty much points out all the little details that add up to make a huge difference.  If you are married, even if everything is absolutely perfect, go out and get this book.  It will shed a light on areas that could be shaded and you didn't even know it. Below is an excerpt description from GoodReads:

With his characteristic warmth and humor, Dr. Kevin Leman offers a practical guide to sex according to God's plan. This frank and practical book is a perfect resource for married and engaged couples. Dr. Leman addresses a wide spectrum of people, from those with no sexual experiences to those with past sexual problems or even abuse. Using frank descriptions, this book has a warm and friendly tone that will help couples overcome awkwardness in discussing an issue important to all married couples.

MEMOIR / HUMOR / NON-FICTION

My Fair Lazy: One Reality Television Addict's Attempt to Discover If Not Being A Dumb Ass Is the New Black; Or, A Culture-Up Manifesto by Jen Lancaster
Jen Lancaster is hilarious.  After being laid off in the post-9/11 recession, Jen found herself jobless and having to make major changes in her life.  Her hysterical chronicle began with "Bitter is the New Black" (see below) and continued through four other books. My Fair Lazy explores what it means to be "classy" and if this is something that can be learned.  With her idol Eliza Doolittle in mind, Jen enlists the help of several friends and associates to see if she can smarten up her dumb ass.  If you like memoirs with a heavy does of humor, this is for you! Below is an excerpt description from GoodReads:

Readers have followed Jen Lancaster through job loss, sucky city living, weight loss attempts, and 1980s nostalgia. Now Jen chronicles her efforts to achieve cultural enlightenment, with some hilarious missteps and genuine moments of inspiration along the way. And she does so by any means necessary: reading canonical literature, viewing classic films, attending the opera, researching artisan cheeses, and even enrolling in etiquette classes to improve her social graces.

In Jen's corner is a crack team of experts, including Page Six socialites, gourmet chefs, an opera aficionado, and a master sommelier. She may discover that well-regarded, high-priced stinky cheese tastes exactly as bad as it smells, and that her love for Kraft American Singles is forever. But one thing's for certain: Eliza Doolittle's got nothing on Jen Lancaster-and failure is an option.

!!! BOOK GIVEAWAY !!!

Now what you've all been waiting for! This quarter's giveaway is going to be the first book in Jen Lancaster's memoir series: Bitter is the New Black : Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smart-Ass, or Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office.  In this book we meet Jen while she is a hot shot VP in a Fortune 500 company.  We are there for her when she loses her job.  And we are by her side when she walks into the unemployment office for the first time .. completely overdressed.  We witness her discovery that she is, in fact, a total bitchy snob stuck in the 80s.  We also discover that, at the end of the day, you really wish you were her best friend.  All those things you are secretly thinking?  She says.  All those things you wish you had said?  She did.  So welcome to the world of Jen Lancaster!  And in case you still aren't convinced .. below is an excerpt description from GoodReads:

This is the story of how a haughty former sorority girl went from having a household income of almost a quarter-million dollars to being evicted from a ghetto apartment... It's a modern Greek tragedy, as defined by Roger Dunkle in The Classical Origins of Western Culture: a story in which "the central character, called a tragic protagonist or hero, suffers some serious misfortune which is not accidental and therefore meaningless, but is significant in that the misfortune is logically connected."

In other words? The bitch had it coming.

So here's how the giveaway will work:  If you want this book, leave a comment that says "PICK ME!".  As a bonus question, you can tell me what book you suggest for ME to read!  What's your favorite book of all time?  What about just at the moment?  The winner will be drawn Friday, April 13th using random.org.

The winner will have the choice of "Bitter is the New Black" or "Sheet Music".  I've decided to throw in Sheet Music as a choice because I am that serious about your need to read it....


HAPPY READING!

Weeknight Apple Pie Bites

Sometimes you come across a recipe and it makes you go "duh!"  This is one of those recipes.  I came across it at Cookin' Up North via Pinterest.

I love apple pie but I hate cooking it.  It's labor intensive and I never seem to want it that badly.  Well this recipe takes all the work out of it!  From start to finish it takes about 30 minutes.  Seriously!  It turns this American dessert into a treat you can have any time!  Enjoy!



Ingredients
1 refrigerated pie crust
1 apple
1/4 cup sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
3 tbl butter, melted

Directions
1.  Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil or parchment paper.  Spray lining with non-stick spray.
2.  Peel (optional) and core apple and cut into 8 wedges.
3.  Unfold the pie crust.  If your brand of pie crust is a circle, slice into 8 wedges.  If your brand is a rectangle, cut into 8 strips.
4.  Take one pie piece and brush it on one side with melted butter then sprinkle it with cinnamon and sugar.  Place an apple wedge at the large end and roll up.  Place on baking sheet.  Repeat until you have eight.
5.  Brush the tops of the pastry with more butter and sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar.
6.  Bake for approximately 15-20 minutes or until golden brown.


Serve with ice cream and/or caramel sauce.  Delish!