As usual, I was perusing Pinterest and having a good laugh. I thought I would share some smiles with you. Happy Weekend!
Showing posts with label Laughter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laughter. Show all posts
1.28.2012
1.03.2012
Beyonce's on the Move
As previously mentioned, I received a cat named Beyonce. I knew that she was not mine permanently but I wasn't sure when or how I would give her back.
Then it dawned on me.
Rebecca went out of town the week after Christmas to visit her dad. I knew that this was my chance to sneak Beyonce back into her apartment. I called her roommate and he let me in. Then the task became 'where am I going to put it!?'
If any of you have lived in an apartment then you know what I mean. They are usually fairly efficient and hiding places are limited .. especially for five-foot cats. Also, considering the fact that the apartment is shared, that pretty much left me with just her bedroom to work with.
The following suggestions were made:
~ Stick it in her bed. Unfortunately this wouldn't work because her bedding lays flat and it would be obvious. Besides, I would hate for to do dump her luggage or something on the bed and injure it.
~ Place it in the closet. Because of the closet system there wasn't really the room. Also, her closet doors weren't closed when she left so if she came home and all of a sudden they were, that would be suspicious.
~ The runner-up idea was to place it behind her bedroom door. It was already open and so it would have been a great idea. When she came home she would close her door and bam! there would be a cat there given her the stink eye.
Can you guess the theme? The idea, OF COURSE, was to scare the crap out of her. haha .. I'm so loving. :)
Finally the winning location was decided and it was this:
Then it dawned on me.
Rebecca went out of town the week after Christmas to visit her dad. I knew that this was my chance to sneak Beyonce back into her apartment. I called her roommate and he let me in. Then the task became 'where am I going to put it!?'
If any of you have lived in an apartment then you know what I mean. They are usually fairly efficient and hiding places are limited .. especially for five-foot cats. Also, considering the fact that the apartment is shared, that pretty much left me with just her bedroom to work with.
The following suggestions were made:
~ Stick it in her bed. Unfortunately this wouldn't work because her bedding lays flat and it would be obvious. Besides, I would hate for to do dump her luggage or something on the bed and injure it.
~ Place it in the closet. Because of the closet system there wasn't really the room. Also, her closet doors weren't closed when she left so if she came home and all of a sudden they were, that would be suspicious.
~ The runner-up idea was to place it behind her bedroom door. It was already open and so it would have been a great idea. When she came home she would close her door and bam! there would be a cat there given her the stink eye.
Can you guess the theme? The idea, OF COURSE, was to scare the crap out of her. haha .. I'm so loving. :)
Finally the winning location was decided and it was this:
 |
| scrub-a-dub-dub, mofo :) |
The shower! Her shower curtain was closed and it was peeeeerfect. I took two of her towels to enhance the theme a little bit and to give Ms. Beyonce a little protection in case a certain bleary-eyed friend decided to turn on the water without looking first. I then closed the curtain back and made sure everything looked untouched. She may find the towels missing but that will only lead to a sooner discovery.
I will no doubt be receiving a text very soon .. and most likely an uphappy one at that.
GAME ON!
12.30.2011
Beyonce ... the Cat?
During the first year that we lived in our house, Mark and I had a very bad experience with a door-to-door vacuum salesman. It was a horrible situation that basically consisted of him insulting me to my face and refusing to leave. An HOUR AND A HALF later we got him out (after threats of calling the police) and now the short of it is this: I refuse to answer the front door.
If I know you are coming, or if we are having a party or something, then of course I will open the door. But if I don't? No way. What typically happens is this: if Mark is home then I go find him and whisper "someone is at the front door" (as if they can hear me from across the house and through the wall) and he gets up and answers it. If he is not home then I become the ultimate ninja and sneak around to spy on the intruder while Merlin looks at me like I have lost my mind (and wondering why I won't let the stranger inside to pet him).
Psycho? Yes. Am I going to change? Nope.
OK so I need you to picture this: A few weeks before Christmas, on a random weeknight, I am sitting in our office at the computer. I am in pajamas, no makeup, and generally looking like a hot mess. Mark is in the living room watching some sort of boy TV while Merlin, as always, does everything possible to insure he is being continuously doted upon.
All of a sudden the doorbell rings.
The TV is muted.
Mark walks to the front door (which is in direct line-sight of the office) and looks at me. I shrug because we aren't expecting anyone. He shrugs back and proceeds to answer the ring.
He unlocks the deadbolt.
He unlocks the door.
I watch him as he slowly opens the front door and peers out. He is completely silent and stands there for about three seconds and then slowly closes the door again. He pauses for a moment and then reaches up and deadbolts the door. He turns and gives me the strangest look and then proceeds to TIPTOE (!?) into the guest room to look out the window because it has the best view of the front of the house.
I proceed to flip.the.heck.out ... silently.
My internal dialogue went something like this: "WHAT THE ****!? If Mark is acting suspicious this is NOT COOL. Oh crap the blinds in the office are open! :: leans closer to the wall to hide behind the giant computer screen :: Where is Mark!? Why isn't he back yet!? I do not want to get up or yell his name to find out what's going on because I don't want whoever is out there to hear me! What if they-"
About this time Mark emerges (still sneaking) from the guest room and motions for me to get up from the desk. I shake my head. Um, no, kthanks.
He's back at the front door and in a full volume voice he says "Jessie, I think there is something you need to see. There is a, um, cat at the front door."
So I slowly get up from the desk with images of mass murders dressed as Dr. Seuss in my head. Mark has the strangest expression on his face and I am still being as quiet as possible. When I get to the front door I stand on my tiptoes and peer out the peephole. And this is what I see:
After a millisecond heart attack and a couple hard blinks, it registers. I swing open the front door and proclaim "Beyonce!". The offendersmy best friend and her boyfriend immediately run around from the side of the house and Rebecca and I burst into laughter.
Earlier in the evening, while perusing Pier 1 Imports, Rebecca and Jeff happened upon a giant hand carved wooden cat. Seeing as we share the same humor, Rebecca's mind immediately went to Beyonce the giant metal chicken and that made it impossible not to buy said giant hand carved wooden cat. duh! ;)
So the purchase was made and the scheme was planned and NOW there is a giant cat at my door. To get the full perspective of what I am talking about when I say giant wooden cat .. here are the mug shots:
This thing is so tall! After the laughing died down and we got the deadweight inside, the issue became "where in the world am I going to put it!?" It needed to go somewhere out of the way and, although our style could be considered slightly eclectic, it is definitely more Pottery Barn/West Elm vs. African Art/World Traveler/Tapestries. I knew it wasn't a permanent resident but the location mattered.
At first I tried hiding it:
And then I thought it would be funny if we stuck it somewhere that might make people jump:
But neither of those locations really seemed "it". Since it was Christmas, and the cat was gifted as part joke, part holiday fun, I decided on the perfect spot:
And so there Beyonce remains; peeking out from behind the tree to observe and judge. I'll admit it is an ugly, creepy statue but it is kind of growing on me. When Rebecca and I initially joked about "totally needing a Beyonce", a small paperweight metal chicken is what I had in mind. I should have known better.
So there you go. From my wonderfully twisted sense of humor to yours. Merry Christmas :)
If I know you are coming, or if we are having a party or something, then of course I will open the door. But if I don't? No way. What typically happens is this: if Mark is home then I go find him and whisper "someone is at the front door" (as if they can hear me from across the house and through the wall) and he gets up and answers it. If he is not home then I become the ultimate ninja and sneak around to spy on the intruder while Merlin looks at me like I have lost my mind (and wondering why I won't let the stranger inside to pet him).
Psycho? Yes. Am I going to change? Nope.
OK so I need you to picture this: A few weeks before Christmas, on a random weeknight, I am sitting in our office at the computer. I am in pajamas, no makeup, and generally looking like a hot mess. Mark is in the living room watching some sort of boy TV while Merlin, as always, does everything possible to insure he is being continuously doted upon.
All of a sudden the doorbell rings.
The TV is muted.
Mark walks to the front door (which is in direct line-sight of the office) and looks at me. I shrug because we aren't expecting anyone. He shrugs back and proceeds to answer the ring.
He unlocks the deadbolt.
He unlocks the door.
I watch him as he slowly opens the front door and peers out. He is completely silent and stands there for about three seconds and then slowly closes the door again. He pauses for a moment and then reaches up and deadbolts the door. He turns and gives me the strangest look and then proceeds to TIPTOE (!?) into the guest room to look out the window because it has the best view of the front of the house.
I proceed to flip.the.heck.out ... silently.
My internal dialogue went something like this: "WHAT THE ****!? If Mark is acting suspicious this is NOT COOL. Oh crap the blinds in the office are open! :: leans closer to the wall to hide behind the giant computer screen :: Where is Mark!? Why isn't he back yet!? I do not want to get up or yell his name to find out what's going on because I don't want whoever is out there to hear me! What if they-"
About this time Mark emerges (still sneaking) from the guest room and motions for me to get up from the desk. I shake my head. Um, no, kthanks.
He's back at the front door and in a full volume voice he says "Jessie, I think there is something you need to see. There is a, um, cat at the front door."
.
.
.
I am going to need to pause for a moment and have you go to the following blog post by The Bloggess entitled 'And That's Why You Should Learn to Pick Your Battles' (it should open in a new window). It is in my top 5 of the funniest things on the web. I'll wait until you get back.
.
.
.
No .. seriously .. go to the link .. you have to read it for the rest of this to even begin to make sense.
.
.
.
So I slowly get up from the desk with images of mass murders dressed as Dr. Seuss in my head. Mark has the strangest expression on his face and I am still being as quiet as possible. When I get to the front door I stand on my tiptoes and peer out the peephole. And this is what I see:
After a millisecond heart attack and a couple hard blinks, it registers. I swing open the front door and proclaim "Beyonce!". The offenders
Earlier in the evening, while perusing Pier 1 Imports, Rebecca and Jeff happened upon a giant hand carved wooden cat. Seeing as we share the same humor, Rebecca's mind immediately went to Beyonce the giant metal chicken and that made it impossible not to buy said giant hand carved wooden cat. duh! ;)
So the purchase was made and the scheme was planned and NOW there is a giant cat at my door. To get the full perspective of what I am talking about when I say giant wooden cat .. here are the mug shots:
 |
| note the height of the peep hole vs. the cat. |
 |
| go to your front door if you need clarification of height. |
This thing is so tall! After the laughing died down and we got the deadweight inside, the issue became "where in the world am I going to put it!?" It needed to go somewhere out of the way and, although our style could be considered slightly eclectic, it is definitely more Pottery Barn/West Elm vs. African Art/World Traveler/Tapestries. I knew it wasn't a permanent resident but the location mattered.
At first I tried hiding it:
 |
| behind a curtain, perhaps? |
And then I thought it would be funny if we stuck it somewhere that might make people jump:
 |
| Around the corner in the stairwell .. |
 |
| It's like "Where's Waldo" but with a giant cat instead. |
And so there Beyonce remains; peeking out from behind the tree to observe and judge. I'll admit it is an ugly, creepy statue but it is kind of growing on me. When Rebecca and I initially joked about "totally needing a Beyonce", a small paperweight metal chicken is what I had in mind. I should have known better.
So there you go. From my wonderfully twisted sense of humor to yours. Merry Christmas :)
12.13.2011
SC Mac & the Vanilla Wafers
Man, I love my church family!
This video is specifically for all you CDF folks out there who, like myself, missed the epicness that happened during the Christmas Dinner. For all you non-CDF folks .. this is an example of how awesome my church family is and how we can have fun together. You should come visit us on Sundays (although I can't promise this kind of craziness :))
Special thanks to SC Mac and the Vanilla Wafers featuring SC Mac (Sheila), Mama Grace (Marie), G Money (Gabi) and P Sully (Priscilla) for rocking the house to J Train! Your talents are QUITE memorable!!! Love you ladies!
12.09.2011
How Could You Not Accept This Apology?
Work has been killer these past few days so I have not had the energy to post. I will most likely write a few this weekend and have them scheduled to go out over the next week or so and that should help.
In the mean time .. I received this in an email and I thought it was awesome. Check it out:
Have a great weekend!!
In the mean time .. I received this in an email and I thought it was awesome. Check it out:
Have a great weekend!!
11.02.2011
Halloween 2011
I may or may not have mentioned it ... but we sort of like Halloween ;)
This year we kept it a little more low-key than usual. We were invited to a "White Trash Bash" so instead of elaborate product placement (i.e. WD40, anyone?) we decided to temporarily misplace some of our class and dress the part.
Halloween actually almost didn't happen this year. I caught a cold a couple weeks ago and Mark managed to pick it up at the end of last week. We weren't sure he was going to have the energy until a few hours beforehand. He ended up deciding he was up for it and we got dressed at the last minute.
We first visited a friend's house down the street from us. They were having a general costume party and watching the USC game. (That would be the University of South Carolina .. not the other "USC".) We watched the first half with them and left at half time to go to the White Trash Bash.
The WTB was a lot of fun. The girls that throw the Halloween party every year do an amazing job. Each year is a different theme and I already can't wait for next year!! The party was out in the backyard, complete with baby pool of beer, yard trash and lots of duck tape. They had the game playing on a sheet hanging off the side of the house. It was awesome! The only downer was that Mark and I didn't dress appropriately for being outside (half sick) in freezing weather. As soon as the game was over we went home. Mark had practically lost his voice by then :(
I have attached pictures of our costumes this year. I'm sorry they are such horrible quality. We looked a lot better in person because some of the details just didn't translate well in these pics. Quite frankly, we almost forgot to even take pics. The first one showing my "tattoo" was the only one taken while we were actually out. When we got home we had to pull out the tripod to get the rest. Oops!
Mark drew me a couple tattoos. The one on the left obviously shows my admiration for Billy Bob. If you look on my right arm you can sort of see the barb wire I got to represent my time in jail. Once at the party I was tattooed with a star behind my right ear and a bird on my left wrist. Since they are permanent and all .. I gave them a whole 5 minutes of thought. Very fancy.
This is Mark channeling his inner "My Name is Earl". It's amazing how a different beard shape can instantly make a difference! He looks sooo gross and trashy! haha
Our headshot, of course :) I had blue and purple eyeshadow on although you can't see it. Also, at the beginning of the night, my hair was teased high and half-up. Next time I will have to remember to use more hairspray because it fell flat pretty quickly.
And here's the overall look. Aren't we the full package!? Mark thought it would be funny to look uncomfortable in the pic .. so that would explain his awkwardness.
Like I said, sorry for the poor quality pics. I hope you enjoyed our low-key, trashtastic Halloween! I know I talked a big game and then this post turned out to be late and a little lackluster. Next year, I promise we'll be more exciting :)
PS - Mark promptly shaved after these were taken .. whew! :)
This year we kept it a little more low-key than usual. We were invited to a "White Trash Bash" so instead of elaborate product placement (i.e. WD40, anyone?) we decided to temporarily misplace some of our class and dress the part.
Halloween actually almost didn't happen this year. I caught a cold a couple weeks ago and Mark managed to pick it up at the end of last week. We weren't sure he was going to have the energy until a few hours beforehand. He ended up deciding he was up for it and we got dressed at the last minute.
We first visited a friend's house down the street from us. They were having a general costume party and watching the USC game. (That would be the University of South Carolina .. not the other "USC".) We watched the first half with them and left at half time to go to the White Trash Bash.
The WTB was a lot of fun. The girls that throw the Halloween party every year do an amazing job. Each year is a different theme and I already can't wait for next year!! The party was out in the backyard, complete with baby pool of beer, yard trash and lots of duck tape. They had the game playing on a sheet hanging off the side of the house. It was awesome! The only downer was that Mark and I didn't dress appropriately for being outside (half sick) in freezing weather. As soon as the game was over we went home. Mark had practically lost his voice by then :(
I have attached pictures of our costumes this year. I'm sorry they are such horrible quality. We looked a lot better in person because some of the details just didn't translate well in these pics. Quite frankly, we almost forgot to even take pics. The first one showing my "tattoo" was the only one taken while we were actually out. When we got home we had to pull out the tripod to get the rest. Oops!
 |
Mark drew me a couple tattoos. The one on the left obviously shows my admiration for Billy Bob. If you look on my right arm you can sort of see the barb wire I got to represent my time in jail. Once at the party I was tattooed with a star behind my right ear and a bird on my left wrist. Since they are permanent and all .. I gave them a whole 5 minutes of thought. Very fancy.
 |
This is Mark channeling his inner "My Name is Earl". It's amazing how a different beard shape can instantly make a difference! He looks sooo gross and trashy! haha
 |
Our headshot, of course :) I had blue and purple eyeshadow on although you can't see it. Also, at the beginning of the night, my hair was teased high and half-up. Next time I will have to remember to use more hairspray because it fell flat pretty quickly.
 |
And here's the overall look. Aren't we the full package!? Mark thought it would be funny to look uncomfortable in the pic .. so that would explain his awkwardness.
Like I said, sorry for the poor quality pics. I hope you enjoyed our low-key, trashtastic Halloween! I know I talked a big game and then this post turned out to be late and a little lackluster. Next year, I promise we'll be more exciting :)
PS - Mark promptly shaved after these were taken .. whew! :)
10.28.2011
Jessie, Age 26
I tend to get bored with my hair. Every 4-5 months or so I decide I want to switch it up. Since I don't dye my hair (except for that one time .. which won't happen again), my usual outlet involves scissors. It's usually the same pattern: grow it long, chop it off, grow it long, chop it off. My hair grows pretty quickly so this cycle can happen every 1.5-2 years. That's just how I roll.
Usually my changes involve layers or sweepy bangs. This time around I decided to do something I have never done as an adult .. I got full-blown bangs. Now I realize in the grand scheme of things .. this is trivial. But for all my girls out there that have any sort of relationship with their hair .. you totally understand this is drastic.
Another thing I am known for doing is making drastic hair choices and then completely regretting it the next day (once again, thank goodness my hair grows fast). My most recent example was when I chopped 12 inches of hair off to above my chin. It was awesome Day One .. Day Five? Not so much. Well this time around I took my time. I looked up tons of pictures and built up my confidence and decided thick bangs were my "thing" for this go 'round. Off to the salon I went...
As a side note: If you live near Columbia, SC .. I am totally going to take a sec and plug Cline's Salon in the Vista. LOVE. THEM. I especially love my girl Kristen. PLEASE go see her and let her work her magic. You will not regret it. Tell her I sent you. (and no .. I don't get any comps for that .. I genuinely just love her.) Moving on ..
So yesterday I showed up and revealed my inspiration pic to Kristen. We first both gushed over the gorgeousness that is the model and then Kristen got to work. The bangs turned out great although the rest of my hair needs to grow out a lot more (note the "Hair Amputation of 2011" mentioned above). I left beaming.
On the way home I kept looking in the mirror and messing with my new hair. Here's another tidbit of info: My hair has a life of it's own .. and I don't argue. It flips it's own way and, although it can be tamed, it looks stifled when it is. I generally enjoy my hair's personality so I don't fight it. When getting one's hair cut, I think most people try to preserve the blow-out as long as possible. Me? I can't wait to mess it up. I spent the whole ride home trying to make it flip and "settle" and all it wanted to do was look perfectly-coiffed. Booo.
I walked in the door and Mark came to meet me and see my hair. He smiled, told me he really liked it and said I reminded him of someone. He then proceeded to follow me around the house and stare at me trying to figure it out. After a few minutes he said "You look like Erin from The Office" and that made me happy.
The above picture is the closest thing I could find to what I actually looked like when I got home. The bangs were straight across and everything. Although I intend to wear them straight down (and thus wanted them cut this way) the majority of the time I will probably just push them to the side. Since they were blown straight into submission ... I didn't have a choice .. straight down it was.
My plan was to take a shower immediately after dinner and play around with the new cut. As I was cooking dinner I realized another shower would mean my hair would be washed three times in one day and I couldn't do it. Too much. So I stayed on the couch and then went to bed.
I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and almost freaked out. Instead of the slightly more mature, slightly edgy hair of yesterday .. I looked like a child. I was totally discouraged and whipped out the brush as fast as I could manage.
I was channeling some serious Ramona Quimby hair .. and I looked 8, too! After much coaxing the situation improved. I pulled my hair half back and headed to work. Everyone complimented the cut (although, seriously, who would be like "wow, you ruined your hair!") and several people said I looked "cute". uh oh. Cute was not what I was going for.
Any way .. long story short .. I still LOVE my hair but a restyling is much needed. The first order of business, before we go out tonight, is a shower. I will let you know my reaction once I get my hands on it and get to play with it some. It usually falls "just right" and I am hoping this time will be no exception.
On an even happier note, it's officially Halloween weekend!!!!! Woo hoo! As I mentioned here, Mark and I are HUGE Halloween fans. This year we are going to a White Trash Bash and I couldn't be more excited. Mark's costume is pretty epic and mine is fairly good, too. No doubt I will be posting about it next week. Until then, Happy Halloween!!
Usually my changes involve layers or sweepy bangs. This time around I decided to do something I have never done as an adult .. I got full-blown bangs. Now I realize in the grand scheme of things .. this is trivial. But for all my girls out there that have any sort of relationship with their hair .. you totally understand this is drastic.
Another thing I am known for doing is making drastic hair choices and then completely regretting it the next day (once again, thank goodness my hair grows fast). My most recent example was when I chopped 12 inches of hair off to above my chin. It was awesome Day One .. Day Five? Not so much. Well this time around I took my time. I looked up tons of pictures and built up my confidence and decided thick bangs were my "thing" for this go 'round. Off to the salon I went...
As a side note: If you live near Columbia, SC .. I am totally going to take a sec and plug Cline's Salon in the Vista. LOVE. THEM. I especially love my girl Kristen. PLEASE go see her and let her work her magic. You will not regret it. Tell her I sent you. (and no .. I don't get any comps for that .. I genuinely just love her.) Moving on ..
So yesterday I showed up and revealed my inspiration pic to Kristen. We first both gushed over the gorgeousness that is the model and then Kristen got to work. The bangs turned out great although the rest of my hair needs to grow out a lot more (note the "Hair Amputation of 2011" mentioned above). I left beaming.
On the way home I kept looking in the mirror and messing with my new hair. Here's another tidbit of info: My hair has a life of it's own .. and I don't argue. It flips it's own way and, although it can be tamed, it looks stifled when it is. I generally enjoy my hair's personality so I don't fight it. When getting one's hair cut, I think most people try to preserve the blow-out as long as possible. Me? I can't wait to mess it up. I spent the whole ride home trying to make it flip and "settle" and all it wanted to do was look perfectly-coiffed. Booo.
I walked in the door and Mark came to meet me and see my hair. He smiled, told me he really liked it and said I reminded him of someone. He then proceeded to follow me around the house and stare at me trying to figure it out. After a few minutes he said "You look like Erin from The Office" and that made me happy.
 |
| Meet Erin. |
My plan was to take a shower immediately after dinner and play around with the new cut. As I was cooking dinner I realized another shower would mean my hair would be washed three times in one day and I couldn't do it. Too much. So I stayed on the couch and then went to bed.
I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and almost freaked out. Instead of the slightly more mature, slightly edgy hair of yesterday .. I looked like a child. I was totally discouraged and whipped out the brush as fast as I could manage.
 |
| I wish I could read these books again and not be looked at funny for it. |
Any way .. long story short .. I still LOVE my hair but a restyling is much needed. The first order of business, before we go out tonight, is a shower. I will let you know my reaction once I get my hands on it and get to play with it some. It usually falls "just right" and I am hoping this time will be no exception.
On an even happier note, it's officially Halloween weekend!!!!! Woo hoo! As I mentioned here, Mark and I are HUGE Halloween fans. This year we are going to a White Trash Bash and I couldn't be more excited. Mark's costume is pretty epic and mine is fairly good, too. No doubt I will be posting about it next week. Until then, Happy Halloween!!
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