Dear Readers ... A Year and A Half Later

Dear Readers,

A very kind reader sent me an email this morning regarding my "Links I Love" Page.  I have fixed the broken link to "Six Sisters' Stuff" and I have added a link to "The Ultimate Frugal Resource Guide" per her suggestion. Thanks Kathleen for the great resource!  I hope others will find it as useful as I have.

Unbeknownst to Kathleen, her email did more than just inform me about necessary editing.  She also reminded me that my little corner of the internet is still out there and people still come across it now and again.  When I started HWE, I started it as a sort of journal to catalog my life.  Well, life got crazy at the end of 2012 and blogging became less of a priority for me.  I made the decision to stop adding to HWE for a while and I apologize for not letting you guys know about it.

I am not sure I am ready to blog full time again but I did want to catch you up on the craziness of the past year:

- As you know, we lost a baby due to miscarriage at the end of 2012.  His name was Andrew and I still miss him to this day.  I don't cry anymore, and the acute pain is gone, but I do sometimes think "How old would Andrew be today?" or "What would _____ have been like if Andrew had been here?"

- In November 2012, I applied for a Leadership/Management Program at work.  It was a four month application process and one I unfortunately didn't feel like was appropriate or professional to share in a public forum.

- In the beginning of February 2013, I unfortunately suffered a second miscarriage.  I was only 5 weeks pregnant and I was able to miscarry at home.  This experience has left a mark on me.  I did not forget all the hope and encouragement Andrew's short life and given me but it was a very dark time.  It took a long time to emotionally recover and, to be honest, I still have my moments.  My "moments" aren't in regards to mourning the loss of the second child necessarily but about the uncertainty of the future.  I will always struggle with things I can't control and this is a giant example of needing to "let go and let God."

- While still dealing with the second miscarriage, I found out I had been accepted into the management program at work.  All of a sudden my work-life radically shifted.  I became much busier and work became something I definitely shouldn't/couldn't discuss.

- Over the next 8 months, I trained my replacement in my old position, transitioned to my new position, completed the program, and was promoted.  At the same time, my husband's work became really intense and he started working crazy-long hours.  Needless to say, work-life was (and sort of still is) our primary focus in life.

- I have settled into my new position at work and I am loving it.  Mark's hours have actually intensified even further at work (12 hour days are standard and there have been a couple 14-15+ hour days).  So basically I have decided to be very choosy about how I get to spend the little moments we have together now.  I still read obsessively and I still cook every night.  These are the things that relax me.  I have also made a point to treat myself better and give myself little at-home "spa" days as frequently as I can.

- My birthday last week actually marked the one-year anniversary of my second miscarriage and the end of the "waiting and recovery" period.  Despite our history, I am excited to try again to expand our family.  I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE to let you all know if we are blessed in that area.

So that pretty much gives a broad overview of life for me recently.  It's been a roller coaster of shifting priorities but I can honestly say I have been happy.  2013 started as the lowest point in my life and ended as one of the highest thus far.  I can't wait to see where 2014 will lead us and I appreciate every single one of you for sticking around.

Love,
Jessie

Don't peak! Ok, maybe a little...

The past month or so has been nothing but work, eat and sleep.  Nothing too exciting has really been going on ..  until now!  There have been a few house DIY/renovations on the back burner for a while but not anymore. 

Here's a sneak peak at posts you can (hopefully) expect sooner than later:

And for those of you that I know in real life and insist that my house is always clean.. the photo below is proof that this is not the case.  Hooray for construction :)

Fresh Start and New Beginnings

This is the speed bump sign in Europe .. seriously :)

Today marks the beginning of October.  I adore this month.  It's my favorite month (and favorite season for that matter).  I don't know if it's from memories past revolving around new school years or because the weather changes so drastically but October is when I tend to start things. I guess you could call them "October Resolutions" instead of "New Years Resolutions". (Too far?  Yeah, sorry about that.)

This season is turning out to be no different than Falls of the past.  We have a few house/decorating changes in the works (one of which may or may not include a sledgehammer :)) and lots of parties, showers, and out of town trips to attend.  Frankly, I am really excited.  I love the hustle and bustle of new adventures and I am welcoming them with open arms.

The one thing that remains on our minds is ... prego-ness.  With October should come my first period after Andrew.  My doc said to expect it 4-6 weeks after surgery so I guess we will see.  Here's the catch though .. Mark and I have not, and are not, taking any precautions.  I did not get pregnant immediately last time and I don't expect to get pregnant immediately this time .. but it's always a possibility.  I know I am supposed to wait one cycle but .. I honestly am at the point where we are just letting what happens happen.

I am telling you all of this in way of an apology.  I wrote this entire diatribe about how this was blog was a space without elephants and how this was my outlet to tell you what is going on in my life ... and then I blocked you all out of one of the biggest experiences ever.  I don't necessarily regret not keeping you 100% in the loop because it was a personal journey I needed to sort out before inviting the world in .. but I do apologize for being MIA in spite of it.

This time around will be different.  That is not to say we will announce any pregnancy at 4 weeks .. because we won't .. but I will do a much better job at keeping you in the loop and letting you know what else is going on and what we are feeling.  So in a week's time .. it is back to "Bump Watch 2012/2013".

How am I feeling?  Relaxed and excited, perhaps.  I am relaxed this time because we are just going to 'do our thang' and not worry about charting or timing everything perfectly.  I'm also excited because, well duh, I want to be a mom again!  It took four months the first time and who knows how long it will take this time around.. 4 months? 4 years?.  All I know is .. I'm ready!

Body Worlds: Vital

*** WARNING:  There are graphic pictures below. If you have a weak stomach, be forewarned .. but even if you do .. please try to look anyway. ***

The weekend before last, Mark and I went to Asheville and had an amazing long weekend.  I took tons of pictures .. and they are still sitting on the camera.  I promise to write that post asap.  In the meantime, I wanted to tell you about what we did yesterday!

The South Carolina State Museum recently hosted an exhibit called BODY WORLDS Vital.  Have you heard about this!?  It's pretty much the coolest thing ever!  Here's a little video about it:

Basically, this anatomist named Gunther von Hagens came up with a process of preservation called plastination.  The process takes a human cadaver, removes all the fluid (blood, etc.) and replaces it with a type of polymer.  This process halts decomposition and preserves the body perfectly .. whole. 

There are several different exhibits around the world right now.  The BODY WORLDS Vital exhibit focuses on educating the public on body awareness and health.  There are several bodies posed to show how we look mid-action (dancing, singing, running, etc.)  The bodies are REAL and they are dissected in a way to show you all the muscle groups, nerves, arteries, etc.  IT. IS. ABSOLUTELY. FASCINATING.

It also shows REAL comparisons of certain diseases.   You see a real side-by-side organs affected by lifestyle choices.  Here are a couple examples:

The lungs on the left are a smoker's lungs.  The donor was an average smoker all his life .. NOT a 3-pack-a-day-worst-of-the-worst smoker.  The lungs on the right are healthy and belonged to a non-smoker.  LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE!  I had always heard that smoking turns your lungs black but IT REALLY DOES.  It was drastic and you could see the necrosis.

The other crazy comparison was obesity:

The body on the left is a male of average stature.  The body on the right is of an obese male.  Seeing all the areas that fat infiltrates the body and the organs is just crazy.  It certainly makes you look at your own health more closely.

All in all this exhibit is DEFINITELY worth seeing.  I am not sure where Vital will travel next (yesterday was the last day in Columbia, SC).  If it comes anywhere near you, PLEASE go see it (or any of the other Body Worlds)  It is amazing and not horrific at all.  There were plenty of school-age children there (although there is genitalia so make sure your child can handle it.) 

I wish a) I had seen this sooner so the exhibit would still be open (and thus you could see it) and b) there was more.  I just couldn't get enough! 

*There was no photography or videography allowed in the exhibit.  All pictures were pulled off the internet.  They are of real thing that I saw while there.

What did you do this weekend?  Have you seen Body Worlds Vital?  Did you love it?

February In Review

Whew! I'm glad that is over!  If I had to sum up February in one word it would be "blah".  I know I said this throughout the month (in the very few posts that actually got published) but I just couldn't get my head on straight!  I felt non-stop busy the entire time but when I stopped, looked around, and tried to take inventory of what I actually accomplished .. I was left with nothing.

I think we all sometimes get stuck in the hamster wheel of life.  I won't harp on it.  I won't let it get me down.  I absolutely feel frustration for the fact that I just "wasted" a whole month with nothing to show for it.  But you know what?  It's a new month and I am determined to make March SO much better.

Am I completely out of the fog yet?  Actually, I don't know.  After having a "come to Jesus" talk with myself last night I woke up with renewed energy this morning.  Maybe I will be back in the funk tomorrow but at least I will have this post to remind me that I can get it under control again.  I need to evaluate and determine the things that give me the "accomplished" feeling.  I know my lack of blogging greatly contributed to my downward spiral but when I sat down to write I just couldn't think of anything.  This will change.

NO MORE, I say.  I will not spend another four weeks like a zombie.  I will take control of my happiness.  I will make a to do list and then fervently check each item off because taking action makes me happy.  I don't know how this will manifest itself but you can bet that, this month, you will be included.

This blog was a promise.  House Without Elephants means that I owe it to myself (and my followers) to expose the layers; to challenge the parts of my life that I don't like and to celebrate the parts of my life that I do. 

Here we go, folks.

Happy Friday and Happy March!