Paper Crown Coronation

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Last month, I shared my miscarriage story.  The experience was heavy on my heart and sharing it with you allowed me to lift some of the burden.  I am so glad that so many of you have been touched.  The response was overwhelming and I'm grateful for all of the kind words. It means A LOT to me.  I thought that maybe sharing with the world was the final step before "getting back to normal".  Little did I know there was further healing to be done.

I wasn't so naive to think that the thought of Andrew would never hurt again.  A little piece of me hopes I will always miss him .. like since I don't have any bodily scars or anything to remember him by .. that having a piece of my heart being forever affected will be my "proof".

The thing is, and I promise this isn't bragging, I handled the entire event rather well.  I explained that the reasoning for this was because I was completely and overwhelming blessed by God.  I stand by this.  Those weeks during and after were some of my closest moments with Him.  I'm fairly certain my conversation with Him did.not.stop the entire time and it was SOO incredibly refreshing.  There was no room for sadness because I felt full and at peace. 

Please don't misinterpret what I'm saying though ... I miss Andrew deeply.  The thought of all the things we will never do and never say still give me pause.  I still count the weeks and figure out how far along I would be if he was still inside me. The thing is .. I just know, in the center of my soul, that it was always going to be this way and that I need to spend my time thinking about all the things I DID say to him and all the lessons I have learned during and since. Posting the story was my celebration.  It was my way of honoring Andrew and God and reaching out to other mamas and daddys that have or will experience the same thing.  In posting it though, I slipped.

It wasn't conscious and I wish I could somehow rewind and try again. (Isn't that how it always is?)  My only guess is that posting my story in some way "closed" that chapter and I felt I was "done" healing.  My nonstop conversation .. stopped.  Not completely, of course, but I found myself reaching to turn my radio back on in my car instead of driving to work and not realizing it was turned down the entire time.  I found myself with a mile-long to do list that came out of nowhere.  I basically found myself filling up my precious moments with non-precious things.

I decided that "I got this" and, in my own strength, decided to move on.  That subconscious declaration made ME the center of my universe and made ME the solution. 

It fashioned together a glorious paper crown 

and propped it arrogantly upon my head.

Thus it's easy for a peacock to flaunt its feathers

when there is yet no wind to ruffle them.

My storm was brewing though.  

I just couldn't see the clouds 

behind my electric sun.

As I was mentally parading around, proud of my ability to move on, heal and grow, I was also preparing for when I knew it could rear its ugly head again.  I had a game plan.  I was in control.  I was prepared for the holidays and for our anniversary.  For our friends' upcoming births and showers and the March birthday we couldn't celebrate.  What I wasn't prepared for came in the mail a week and a half ago.

The hospital bill.

There was just something about receiving the bill that made it all real.  It was THE BIGGEST slap in the face.  I just wanted to call the hospital and scream at them until my throat was raw.

HOW DARE YOU CHARGE ME FOR THIS!? 
I DIDN'T EVEN GET MY SON OUT OF THE DEAL!!

I was broken. I just wasn't expecting it.  It's hurricane winds savagely ripped the crown from my head and I was left bare. Then the tears fell.

I realized I just don't "got" it.  I am so incredibly weak and feel utterly foolish for thinking I have even a fraction of the strength to get through this without Him.  Frankly .. mourning sucks.  You feel great and then seemingly out of nowhere the floor drops out.  I honestly feel like I should have one of those 80s shirts that say "I went to ___ and all I got was this lousy shirt." .. except mine would say "My heart broke and all I got was a lousy $15,000 (before insurance) hospital bill". Bad humor, I know.

I know it doesn't seem like it but this post isn't about doom and gloom.  The past 11 days have proven to be fortifying.  My conversations have increased slightly and hospital payments have been made.  I know I have a long way to go.  I can admit that now.  I admit that I'm perfectly ok 99% of the time but that doesn't give me the right to ignore the 1%. 

My sullied crown is gone .. for now.  I know my Type-A flesh will override again and I will be left preening in false glory.  Let this post be proof .. only His crown reigns.

Where my crown falters in heavy winds, His stabilizes. 
Where my crown dirties, His will ALWAYS shine.

Cheers to MY King.  The one and only.

Spring Cleaning by Jiggs in Transition

I'm doing a lot of reposts this week but it's just that kind of week. Here's a GREAT one from my friend over at Jiggs in Transition. She did a post today titled "Spring Cleaning" and it is a must read.

Check it out below and add her to your feed!


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Houses get dirty, over and over again. It doesnt matter how hard you try, there will be something new to clean. And yet, we clean. We clean knowing that the house is going to get dirty again. We organize and reorganize our closets. We pack away winter clothes, we have yard sales...we're always cleaning up some part of our house. And just as we fall down in a sweaty huff on the clean couch, someone tracks in something, knocks something over, or pulls something out to play with.

And what do we do?

We clean it up.

We have no problem dealing again and again with the vicious cycle of filth in our homes.

Why? Because someone might come over! Because it makes us feel at peace! Because our families deserve a nice home! Because its so nice to be in a home free from clutter and yuck! Ahhh..because it feels good!! And because if we didnt stay on top of it, it would get out of control. Who wants to live in out of control filth!!?

We do it because we care about the condition of our homes!!

There is a different house we maintain. Its the house of our hearts and souls. A place were very important guests live. God himself. How many of us have given up on regularly cleaning up our souls because "Its just going to get dirty again. I'm not perfect." Thats not a good enough excuse for our homes, why should it be good enough for our hearts? ...Let's reword my post.

Souls get dirty, over and over again. It doesnt matter how hard you try, there will be something new to atone for. And yet, we repent. We repent knowing that our soul is going to get dirty again. We organize and reorganize our plans to change. We pack away bad habits, end bad relationships, and vow to never mess up like that again...we're always repenting of some part of our soul. And just as we fall down in a sweaty huff in our warm sanctified heart, someone makes us jealous, tempts us away, or pushes our buttons. And what do we do? We ask God for forgiveness again, and ask him to help us change. We turn away from it and start over...We let God clean it up.

We have no problem dealing again and again with our mistakes, and fighting against sin in our lives.

Why? Because someone might want to know us? Because it makes us feel at peace? Because our God deserves that sacrifice? Because its so nice to have a heart free from clutter and yuck. Ahhh..because it feels good!! And because if we didnt stay on top of it, it would get out of control. Who wants to live in out of control filth!!?

We do it because we care about the condition of our souls.

:) Happy Dusting

Let Us Keep to the Point

During dinner last night, Mark and I began discussing resolutions and the things we are looking forward to in 2012.  As it always does these days, starting a family entered into the conversation.  I mentioned in my New Years Resolutions 2012 post that we were waiting .. but it was unclear on what we were waiting for.  Well Mark announced that we would be ready once he got his new car ... which could happen any time although it probably won't be for another month or so.

Have you ever heard the saying "If you are unsure where you stand on an issue, just flip a coin.  You will then immediately know."?  I think there is a lot of truth in that.  The second that coin is in the air you will start wishing for either heads or tails.  Well with the declaration that the waiting would be over in a couple months, Mark flipped the proverbial coin.  I realized I was wishing for the opposite side.

He busted out laughing because, apparently, there may or may not have been a look of fear on my face.  It's true though.  The thought terrifies me.  I LOVE thinking about being pregnant and starting a family and I certainly have lots of theories that need testing .. but when it comes down to actually being in those shoes .. I'm all talk.  I just get this overwhelming fear of failing.  I've spent my whole life hedging my bets and "dipping my toe" into situations before diving in that blindly jumping is completely off my radar.  This goes to show there is a fundamental flaw in my walk with God.

I truly believe that we are never given more than we can handle.  I also believe that He has perfect timing.  But actions speak louder than words and my actions have proven I don't practice what I preach.  I've subconsciously known for a long time that pregnancy was going to be a make it or break it experience for me.  For a control freak like myself it is the ultimate in "giving it up".  I have to completely surrender.  I don't have a choice.  He will make me and it won't be pretty.  I would rather go of my own free will.  I have to get my head out of the sand.

Mark has a daily devotional book called My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.  When we got home from dinner he sat down to read it.  After he finished January 1st he came to find me and told me to read it.  It's crazy how blatant God can be when he meets us where we are. This is what the passage said:

"...my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death"  ~ Philippians 1:20

My Utmost for His Highest.  "...my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed..."  We will all feel very much ashamed if we do not yield to Jesus the areas of our lives He has asked us to yield to Him.  It's as if Paul were saying, "My determined purpose is to be my utmost for His highest--my best for His glory."  To reach that level of determination is a matter of the will, not of debate or of reasoning.  It is absolute and irrevocable surrender of will at that point.  An undue amount of thought and consideration for ourselves is what keeps us from making that decision, although we cover it up with the pretense that it is others we are considering.  When we think seriously about what it will cost others if we obey the call of Jesus, we tell God He doesn't know what our obedience will mean.  Keep to the point--He does know.  Shut out every other thought and keep yourself before God in this one thing only--my utmost for His highest.  I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for His and Him alone.


My  Unstoppable Determination for His Holiness.  "Whether it means life or death--it makes no difference!" (see1:21).  Paul was determined that nothing would stop him from doing exactly what God wanted.  But before we choose to follow God's will, a crisis must develop in our lives.  This happens because we tend to be unresponsive to God's gentler nudges.  He brings us to the place where He asks us to be our utmost for Him and we begin to debate.  He then providentially produces a crisis where we have to decide--for or against.  That moment becomes a great crossroads in our lives.  If a crisis has come to you on any front, surrender your will to Jesus absolutely and irrevocably.


Needless to say that left me a little speechless and gave me a LOT to think about.

Jesus Calling: December 31st

Today's excerpt from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:

As this year draws to a close, receive My Peace.  This is still your deepest need, and I, your Prince of Peace, long to pour Myself into your neediness.  My abundance and your emptiness are a perfect match.  I designed you to have no sufficiency of your own.  I created you as a jar of clay, set apart for sacred use.  I want you to be filled with My very Being, permeated through and through with Peace.

Thank Me for My peaceful Presence, regardless of your feelings.  Whisper My Name in loving tenderness.  My Peace, which lives continually in your spirit, will gradually work its way through your entire being.




For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.  And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  ~ Isaiah 9:6

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  ~ 2 Corinthians 4:7


But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world fives.  So not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.  ~ John 14:36-27

SC Mac & the Vanilla Wafers

Man, I love my church family!

This video is specifically for all you CDF folks out there who, like myself, missed the epicness that happened during the Christmas Dinner.  For all you non-CDF folks .. this is an example of how awesome my church family is and how we can have fun together.  You should come visit us on Sundays (although I can't promise this kind of craziness :))

Special thanks to SC Mac and the Vanilla Wafers featuring SC Mac (Sheila), Mama Grace (Marie), G Money (Gabi) and P Sully (Priscilla) for rocking the house to J Train! Your talents are QUITE memorable!!!  Love you ladies!

Fruit of the Spirit

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I spent last weekend with a group of amazing women.  Twenty-seven of us traveled to North Myrtle Beach, SC for a time of fellowship and worship.  I go every year but this year was especially poignant for me.  I felt Him and I was challenged.  The theme this year was Fruit of the Spirit which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  I have spent this week camping on these terms, doing word studies, and below is a brief summation of what I have found. 

I know I most often use my blog for fun things like cooking, organizing and decorating but, through all of this, my goal is transparency.  If I am to be transparent then I must show you what has been so heavily on my heart...

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.  For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.  But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law.  Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

- Galatians 5:16-23 (NASB)

LOVE ~ We are to love one another.  Loving someone who is nice to us and loves us back is the easy part.  It is also only the tip of the iceberg.  We are also called to love those who do not love us back.  The ones who openly hate us.  The ones that aren't nice.  The ones that are down and out.  The ones that have nothing to give us in return.

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;  bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

- Colossians 3:12-14

JOY ~ Joy is a choice.  This is really important.  It is not just a feeling any more than love is just a feeling.  It's a decision.  Also, joy does not equal happiness.  I have most often found the joy in my life during periods of trial.  Ever heard the phrase "I may love you right now but I don't necessarily like you."  Joy is similar but instead should read "I may have joy right now but I am not happy".  When things go south it is easy to become downtrodden.  You have to have joy.  Joy means believing in your heart that God has your best interest at heart.  Even when times are tough, focus on all the ways God IS providing and be thankful.

I will be full of joy in the Lord, my soul will be glad in my God; for he has put on me the clothing of salvation, covering me with the robe of righteousness, as the husband puts on a fair head-dress, and the bride makes herself beautiful with jewels.

- Isaiah 61:10

PEACE ~ Peace is a hard one.  It's being content and knowing God is in control.  For me, my nature is to plan and try to take care of everything.  The hardest lesson for me to learn is that sometimes .. the only thing I can do .. is let go.  God never sleeps.  He is always in control.  At times when I am calm and at peace and I can sleep easily with the storm raging around me .. those are the times that I know I have found peace.

The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You.  Trust in the Lord forever, for in God the Lord, we have an everlasting Rock.

- Isaiah 26:3-4


For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.

- 1 Corinthians 14:33

PATIENCE ~Waiting.  This is a really hard thing for me.  It's part of my nature as a planner.  I think I have everything figured out and then He doesn't move when I "need" him to.  I purposely put the quotations because no one knows what I need better than He does.  He always has my best interest at heart and he will always provide what I need.  Therefore, I need to wait. Patiently.  Quietly.  To us, hindsight is 20/20 and we always see why things worked out for the better.  God sees 20/20 in the past, present and future.  He never says "if I only knew" because he always does.

I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry.  He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, an He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.  He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord.

- Psalm 40:1-3

KINDNESS ~ I think kindness comes most naturally.  I also believe that I often think of kind things to do but never actually do them .. all the while still giving myself some sort of credit for it.  This is not done consciously but it is still done.  Giving a helping hand, a smile or a kind word is really important.  Try to say something mean with a smile on your face.  Or tell someone you love them while frowning.  It is really hard to do.  I think if you smile more often then your actions will follow and I wouldn't be surprised if your mood is bolstered because of it.

For length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.  Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man.

- Proverbs 3:2-4

GOODNESS ~ Goodness is multi-faceted.  It is a combination of kindness, grace and purification from wickedness. 

For it is by grace you have been saved through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not as a result of works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

- Ephesians 2:8-10

Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.  At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures.  We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.  But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy.  He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by His grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.  This is a trustworthy saying.  And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good.  These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.

- Titus 3:1-8

FAITHFULNESS ~ When I think of faithfulness, I think of a promise of unconditional devotion.  It means "I am pulling for you. No matter what.  Every time."  We don't see a lot of faithfulness in the world.  People tend to get finicky about things; whether it's because it got hard, unpopular or inconvenient.  We tend to root for our teams .. until a better team comes along.  Faithfulness means you will always keep the best interest at heart.  You support and love without ceasing.  God shows us unwavering faithfulness and we should do the same.

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, or his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is tour faithfulness.  I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

- Lamentations 3:22-24

I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there" and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you.

- Matthew 17:20-21

GENTLENESS ~ Gentleness is akin to kindness.  I have learned that sometimes I just need to be gentler.  I need to control my tongue more.  I need to listen more and talk less.  I tend to be a little too blunt and a little too forceful with the ones I love.  I know that they love me unconditionally (especially my husband) but that does not give me the write to hurt his feelings.  This does not mean I need to sugar coat or lie, though.  It just means that I need to take in consideration the other person's feelings before I end up steam-rolling them.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  The tongue of the wise makes knowledge axceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly.  The eyes of the Lord are in every place, watching the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:1-3

Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
- Ephesians 4:1-3

SELF-CONTROL ~ This is the fruit that I need to work on the most.  Most people assume I have a lot of self-control because I seem organized and on top of things.  This isn't a false front.  I am organized and I typically am on top of things.  This is not what I need to work on. This is not what self-control means.  Self-control has nothing to do with self.  It has nothing to do with my works.  It has everything to do with me surrendering my control and allowing God to take over.  And this is precisely what I need to work on.  I have spent so much time controlling my "bubble" and really it's all in vain.  God has a plan and he is in complete control.  I get so wrapped up in the daily minutiae and I need to stop.  There are some things that, no matter what, I can not plan or control them.  A big example of this is starting a family.  I can not control when I get pregnant. I can do everything right but I will not be successful unless it is God's will.  I can not plan and make sure we are ready because we never will be.  I will never have enough in savings.  I will never have everything figured out.  I need to stop pushing so hard, gain some self-control and ALLOW myself to give up.  It is not weakness.  It is strength.  It is not failure.  It is success. 

Here's my confession:  We want to start a family but I have not allowed myself to give up the control yet.  I haven't allowed myself to come to terms with the fact that .. no matter what I do .. I will never be prepared.  I know all of this is my head but I need to know it in my heart.  I need God to move in me and allow me to release these stresses.  It is my personal battle and I am losing.  I have put my own comforts (comfort in knowing "we got this covered") ahead of my love for God and my love for my husband.  My husband has been completely patient and is waiting for me.  Because of this study I have made vast improvements.  I am not out of the woods yet but I have called out my sin and uncovered it's face.  I can not hide anymore and I need to face the truth.  This is the only way I can move forward and praise Him.

But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.
- 1 Thessalonians 5:8

Therefore, prepare your minds for actions; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.  As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be hold , because I am holy."
- 1 Peter 1:13-16

Perfect Sunrise.  Perfect Promise.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.  For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
- 2 Peter 1:5-9

By the way - The picture below is of the shirts I had made for the retreat.  My friend Heather at Fermata Threads created them.  She is great to work with and has secured my business from now on.  If you have any tshirt needs, please visit her.  Thanks!



Thanks Heather!



Daily Devotional

If I am being completely honest with you then I have to admit that I do not have a daily quiet time.  I want to set time aside daily but I have not made it a priority.  There is no one to blame but myself.

Sometimes, if you pay attention, you will see the same thing coming at you from different angles in life.  When you finally notice the pattern .. pay attention!  Recently, that "thing" for me has been a book called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.

This book has come across my path repetitively.. and for a long time now.  I'm embarrassed to say that I am just now catching on.  I am an avid reader and so people tend to recommend books to me quite often.  Most of them go in one ear and out the other.  It's not that I don't respect the opinion of the one recommending it .. I'm just picky and often don't try hard enough to remember the title. Anyway, this title has made an appearance so many times (and in so many ways) that I remembered not only the title but the author.  It seemed about time that I took a closer look.

After a very brief internet search, I realized two things:  1) this is a daily devotional and is meant to not be read all at once and 2) there is a free app available that gives you a week trial of the book.

Bingo!

My desire to have a quiet time, but my lack of focus, has now been rectified.  I read daily already so taking a few minutes to meditate on a book entry won't change my routine too much.  Also, I don't buy books (because I read too many too quickly) and so a free app is a great way for me to test drive it first. 

I know me and that means I can not jump head first into something that completely alters my routine.  I won't stick with it.  If I gradually start just reading the book during my existing "reading time" (i.e. lunch break) then I have added something new but not changed everything.  Eventually I will, hopefully, add a second break (ideally in the morning before work) just for this.  This may sound non-committal to some, but for me, it's the exact opposite.  I am trying to change my behavior.  I have to take baby steps.

I downloaded the Jesus Calling Lite app for droid and this is what I saw for today:

Sit quietly with Me, letting all your fears and worries bubble up to the surface of your consciousness.  There, in the Light of My Presence, the bubbles pop and disappear.  However, some fears surface over and over again, especially fear of the future.  You tend to project yourself mentally into the next day, week, month, year, decade; and you visualize yourself coping badly in those times.  What you are seeing is a false image, because it doesn't include Me.  Those gloomy times that you imagine will not come to pass, since My Presence will be with you at all times.


When a future-oriented worry assails you, capture it and disarm it by suffusing the Light of My Presence in to that mental image.  Say to yourself, "Jesus will you be with me then and there.  With His Help, I can cope!"  Then, come home to the present moment, where you can enjoy peace in My Presence.


Then Jesus said to this disciples:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.  Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.  Consider the ravens:  They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them.  And how much more valuable you are than birds!  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
- Luke 12:22-26


"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
- Deuteronomy 31:6


"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
- 2 Corinthians 10:5

This excerpt spoke volumes to me.  It met me where I am today and I know it met you where you are.  We are in different places so it speaks to each of us differently.  This is a valuable book .. especially to someone like me who does not currently have a quiet time.  It can be completely overwhelming to think "OK, I am supposed to sit down for "quiet time" and do what!?  Do I read the bible?  What do I read?  How long do I read?  What am I supposed to feel?  What am I supposed to say?"  These are all things that I felt and I know I am not alone.  I truly believe that's why this book has come into my life.  It has provided me the structure I am looking for.  I am sure once I become more comfortable with the process then I will be able to branch out and build my own version of quiet time, but for now, this seems perfect to me.

We are all at different places of our walk with God. Maybe you don't even know who He is.  I encourage you to pick up this book.  If you don't even want to do that, then I encourage you to read my posts.  I will try to let you know about any entries that hit especially close to home. 

If you have any questions, please email me.  I can not promise to have the answers but I do promise to help you find them.  If you are currently using Jesus Calling as part of your daily devotional and have any words of wisdom or insight, you are welcome to let me know as well.

Here's the Amazon link if you would like to buy it.

Everybody's Working for the Weekend

... and I am no exception!  I have definitely been working this week with my eye on 5:30pm today.

This weekend marks the annual Women's Retreat at my church.  There are 27 ladies going this year and I am SO excited!  We always have such a great time and I know that this year will be no exception.  I am riding with four friends tonight after work and we will be heading to North Myrtle Beach, SC.

I am not 100% a beach person, which shouldn't be at all surprising.  I am a red head and that means I have translucent fair skin.  No matter how much sunscreen I use I inevitably burn.  I also don't care for sand being stuck everywhere and the idea of swimming in the ocean is just not appealing at all. Jellyfish? Sharks? No thanks.  It's not that I am "scared" of the ocean, it's more like the last 3 times I have gone in the water I have been stung by jellyfish.  Couple lukewarm feelings about the beach with my ability to attract jellyfish from miles around .. well I think that says enough.

There are some definite positives you get at the beach .. and only at the beach .. so that's why I am not a total hater.  I am, in fact, a huge water person. One thousand percent.  I can spend, and have, HOURS in the pool or lake.  It's so relaxing to me.  If I can't be in it, though, then I will settle for listening to it.

Picture this:  You have rented a house on the beach.  It's late at night and everything is quiet.  You are sitting on the top floor balcony.  You've turned out the porch lights and there is a soft filter of light from somewhere inside.  You slowly push off and rock back and forth in the rocking chair.  There is a slight breeze coming off the ocean as you listen to the waves crashing against shore.  You push some hair from your eyes, take a deep breath and slowly find that quiet inner peace.

See!  How relaxing is that!?  You can only get that at the beach and that's why I don't completely write it off.  So I guess I do love the beach after all .. if only between the hours of sunset and sunrise.  I will hopefully enjoy that peace this weekend as well as great fellowship with my girls.  I hope everyone has an equally relaxing time and I will talk to you Monday!