~ "Operation: Wake up earlier and exercise" is a FAIL. I started a week ago and officially only managed to wake up early on Wednesday, Thursday and yesterday. I did, however, exercise 5 of the 7 days so that's something. Once I am up then the rest is easy. It's just motivating myself to get out of bed because I know I could sleep in for another hour and a half (if I push it). The first two weeks are the hardest (I remember that from last time) so I need to just man up and do it. Last time I did this I got up at 5:45 with Mark and that was my motivation .. to be up when he was and be able to say bye. This time around I have been attempting to get up at 6:15 (right as he leaves) but once that happens the house is quiet and sleepy. I think I may need to push my alarm back 30 minutes to get me through the first couple of weeks and then I can adjust once I get it under control. As per usual .. you will be updated ;)
~ Sometimes I struggle with inadequacy. It comes upon me every once in a while and seems to color everything. It's my own personal cloud cover. I can usually get a grasp on it and kick it out the door but it nevertheless comes back. It came back for about 3 days before I realized what was going on and pulled myself together. It's not that I feel inadequate in a certain area of my life .. it affects everything. I just see how I can be better in so many ways and I play the "compare" game. The reason I am bringing this up now is because Mark made an innocent joke (one in which we've made a million times) and I took it the wrong way and burst into tears. That was the big fat clue that I need to self-check and find out what was going on. Needless to say I gave myself an attitude adjustment, notified Mark what was really going on and moved on. I'm sure this happens to others and I hate it. I wish I could rid myself of those thoughts forever. Just another foothold...
~ I'm a reader. A big reader. I average about 100 books a year (and yes I keep count). My mom is a reader, too. I think it's genetic. I read a little bit of everything but I mostly camp in fiction. I try to cover the classics, the bestsellers, and everything in between. I have standards though and I admit to sometimes being quick to generalizations. I have excluded an author's entire collections of works out of "principle". It's not fair and it certainly means I sometimes fail at the whole not-being-narrow-minded thing. An example of a couple of these authors are Nicholas Sparks and Nora Roberts.
Nicholas Sparks is on the list because I feel like it's overly sappy, it's this "perfect love" and then someone goes and dies in the end from cancer or whatever. I read for enjoyment so why would I want to sit around and cry reading his books? No thanks. Nora Roberts is on the list because I thought she was the one with Fabio on the front and everyone is from the 18th century and sex-obsessed. Ugh.
My mom read Nora Roberts (and the like) growing up. I thought I would never read "crap" like that (sorry Mom!). I wanted to read real books. Wellllll I eventually caved and I read one of her books...just to see what it was like. What is it like? It's like a cozy blanket. It's the book version of a contented sigh. It's effortless and comforting. I have no idea why but I just love her. I always end up throwing in a couple of her books (or a series) each year. It's happy ever afters and they just make me smile.
I know it's silly but at almost 27 I feel way too young to be reading Nora (even though that's the general age of her characters). I always stereotyped her for the 50+ set. I've kept our relationship a secret long enough .. so here I am .. claiming my adoration. I still hold my grudge against Sparks and his followers. I have yet to drink that Kool-aid. Maybe one day .. maybe not.
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