Perspective? Check!

Happy Monday, everyone! There's a new week in front of us and an opportunity for a fresh start.  Let's make the best of it!

I feel that one of the better benefits of marriage is the opportunity to have a "mirror" shoved in your face at any time.  This may not sound fun for someone else, but for me, I love it.  It keeps me honest and I love the security in knowing that Mark can totally call me out about what I am doing or saying and it's done in unconditional love and not hurtfully.  I respect and trust his opinion immensely so I want to know what he thinks and how he feels.

As I am sure you all can gather, last week was a little draining.  Emotionally (and physically) I was exhausted by the weekend.  As I was discussing things with Mark on Sunday, he made a very poignant observation about me.  I take on others' problems (or at least my perception of them) and then react as if they are my own.  I definitely need to stop this.

If something happens to someone else then it happens to someone else.  Even though a situation would freak me out or overwhelm me, that doesn't mean it will be that way for those involved.  I am a huge planner. I crave control and order. I love surprises and being spontaneous in regards to a lot of things in my life but not when it is life-altering.  Going on vacation but not sure what we will do?  Let's wing it!  Made a specific to-do list for Saturday but something better came along?  Scrap it!  Start a family or invest money? Plan! Plan! Plan!  It's just the way I operate. I would prefer to work things out ahead of time, as much as possible, and be mentally prepared going into a situation.  It's not that, once I have a plan, I can't break from it.  It's just my security blanket knowing that there is a little structure hidden somewhere.

This is not how everyone operates and that is totally OK.  The world would be very boring if everyone was like me.  There has to be risk-takers and, apparently, I am friends with a lot of them.  I love all of them but I can't treat their decisions like they are my own. I can't internally-stress about whether they have made the right choices and I certainly can't pretend that things emotionally affect us the same way.  (As a side note:  Please know that I keep any and all opinions to myself unless asked directly by the person involved.  I am not one to blab my opinions about personal matters (which I realize are totally out of line sometimes) to anyone but my husband.  To each their own. I always tread very lightly and NEVER want to overstep appropriate boundaries and be hurtful. If I have done that to you, please know that I apologize and it was never on purpose.)

Anyways, these are the kinds of things that I need to change about myself. I need to be proactive about stopping undue stress and being overly sensitive to situations that don't involve me.  It's unhealthy and I can't keep it up.  After these realizations on Sunday, I have been able to release a lot of stressors in my life.  I have given them up and I feel lighter already.  Will this happen again in the future? Sure.  There is a learning process but I do believe huge progress has been made.

All this to say that it was a productive weekend and I am happy to have last week behind me.  Sometimes you have to break down and numb out to get to the real root of an issue and that's what happened to me.  Everything was stripped away and I was left with just the truth to face.  Sometimes it hurts but it is SO worth it in the end.