It’s funny how some things seem so important that you have to take action immediately, in that very moment, and then life happens and it falls unnoticed by the wayside. That is basically the story of how this blog was born. I was inspired (like so many others) to write a book. What I failed to acknowledge is the fact that an avid reader, a writer does not make.
I blueprinted my whole story that weekend. I began mental relationships with a few of my main characters. I outlined their lives and spun a web I could then lose myself whilst untangling it. Then it happened. Something else grabbed my attention for a second too long and, before I knew it, the moment had passed. I realized the error of my ways and then decided to approach the idea “in a methodical, meticulous sense”. So I started a blog so that I could practice the daily ritual of writing, all the while fleshing my book ideas out. That was four months ago.
You see that’s my problem. The “methodical, meticulous sense” part. I’m a planner. I’m organized. I work very hard at having a perfect life "bubble" at all times. Some people may think this would be bothersome but I embrace that part of me. So while my left-brain glories in my organizational skills and my ability to make decisions, my right-brain pouts in the corner. Sometimes I truly feel like a walking contradiction.
What do I mean? Well it’s a long story but I’m afraid I need to start from the beginning…
When I was young I was organized, but not so much so that it drew attention to me. My stuffed animals were always lined up perfectly and my room never became too messy but, honestly, the average joe would most likely attribute it to scrupulous parents more than their obsessive daughter. But while my messes were tamer than average, my imagination was not.
I have always had a flare for the dramatic. Maybe it’s the red hair. Maybe it’s the Irish-Italian heritage. I’m not sure what caused it but there is no questioning I have it. I discovered the stage early. I danced first and then moved on to theater. I loved the attention, I loved the costumes and I loved being lost in a character whom I found way more interesting than myself. In high school I became the president of our high school theatre company for two years which led me to earn a scholarship for college.
Ah, college. It is the point in a young person’s life where they must make life-altering decisions without the qualifications of experience and knowledge to do so. The voices around me encouraged the “doctor/lawyer/indian chief” route so I could “make real money and have stability”. Needless to say, the day I set off to get my Bachelor’s in Finance and Marketing was the day I kissed a blissfully artistic life goodbye.
It didn’t go quietly in the night. There was a little kicking and screaming along the way in the form of community theatre. My business classes didn’t allow room for art classes, but I tried anyways. As fun as it was I just couldn’t maintain the pace. Priorities shifted and I found myself nurturing my left-sided-ness and ignoring my right.
Looking back, I don’t regret it. The economy tanked about the time I graduated, I was engaged to my wonderful husband and I made no plans to leave the vicinity of my hometown. With those factors at hand, I would have never made a dime and moving home was not an option. Four years later, I have a stable job and a quiet life. Quiet enough for me to hear the faint whines of my right-brain demanding attention. It says it's cramped. It says it's bored. It says it wants room to roam and, really, who am I to deny it?
So here we are. Full circle. A way for me to ease back into acknowleding ideas and letting them live a little. This shall be my outlet. It’s my virtual story board. A place for me to map out where I want to go and what I want to do. The only theme to this is me. I just hope that’s enough.
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